day 1556 – out there

i did not sleep much last night, or maybe didn’t sleep at all. instead, i drove out around and around thinking of so many harmful things and thinking i want to be out of this misery. then it’s like i woke up from a dream and went on with my life like every saturday – more of work. this day it’s all me holding up the whole class alone got me quite drained. good thing i didn’t up having some fun at drop in hockey or else i would probably have crashed at some point 

day 1509 – breakless

the weight accumulated in the past two months has caught up to me. on the exterior i act invincible, but i can only fool others and not myself. the more i tried to brainwash myself, the deeper i fall. at times i thought i didn’t want to fight anymore and wanted to give in. i fear that i’m nearing the brink of losing it – losing the patience to battle. didn’t have an appetite for any breakfast or lunch. i tried to bury myself with work to occupy every part of me

day 1331 Рall business 

although i don’t need this to feel like i belong, it doesn’t stop me from feeling more legitimacy. work has been really busy at the office this week; put more work in doing overtimes but the pile doesn’t seem to be getting less cause more work keeps coming in. time goes by so fast when everyone is pestering me because they seem to think their project needs to be prioritized first

day 1273 – no contacts day

another morning of no contacts because my eyes looked a little bloodshot. i had a productive day; another nonstop day of working at the office, working at the library and working at home. i’m just glad to be finished my site plan and section before 10pm so i can finally get adequate amount of sleep. getting some rest would be more than welcome so i will last the day with school