day 1645 Рspot the difference 

i feel like i’m playing spot the difference every time i compare the new rendering with the old. there’s a huge shift in my work these days and i find i no longer spend much time at my own workstation. all morning long, i’ve been running around checking in at people’s desk, touched neither my breakfast toast nor morning fruits until around half past eleven. it was an uber stressful morning dealing with a fully loaded plate. i’ve been assigned so much more responsibilities colleagues jokingly said i now also carry the title as design manager assistant. i’m overtly tired after tutoring i opted out of gym and went home for some grub


day 1594 – new bar

i forgot to set my alarm but my body clock works well enough to wake me up at half past six so i was minimally late for work. there are days i just need to keep plug in the headphones and keep going and going; hopping from work on top of work. start off the week strong with lifting and be the first to use this newly unboxed olympic bar. getting back into my routines has sure left me sore for days and i can’t wait do it all over again to be sore for days again

day 1531 – stat work

not much of a thanksgiving to celebrate since my parents are back in hong kong and my hand is in much agony. instead of spending time alone in my four walled bedroom, i opted to go to the office to get some work done. there was so much work on my plate to get done but none of my coworkers wanted to see me at the office knowing i’m in a bad state. my hand was so discoloured and swollen i couldn’t even recognize my own hand. the driving is quite dangerous when i have to forgo signaling since my dominant hand isn’t my driving hand

day 1491 – work is life

aside from the need to making a living and making what i had spent on vacation, work is pretty much my life. back in the office after two days off and there’s nearly thirty unread emails. within an hour in the office, project managers are asking if their requested deliverables would be ready today. excited to have a new setup and an upgraded workstation. there’s no easing in as my first day is already an eleven hour day with work and teaching. i don’t mind it too much being back in the thick of things; at least i am important somewhere

day 1466 – out there

i did not sleep much last night, or maybe didn’t sleep at all. instead, i drove out around and around thinking of so many harmful things and thinking i want to be out of this misery. then it’s like i woke up from a dream and went on with my life like every saturday – more of work. this day it’s all me holding up the whole class alone got me quite drained. good thing i didn’t up having some fun at drop in hockey or else i would probably have crashed at some point

day 1419 – breakless

the weight accumulated in the past two months has caught up to me. on the exterior i act invincible, but i can only fool others and not myself. the more i tried to brainwash myself, the deeper i fall. at times i thought i didn’t want to fight anymore and wanted to give in. i fear that i’m nearing the brink of losing it – losing the patience to battle. didn’t have an appetite for any breakfast or lunch. i tried to bury myself with work to occupy every part of me

day 1331 Рall business 

although i don’t need this to feel like i belong, it doesn’t stop me from feeling more legitimacy. work has been really busy at the office this week; put more work in doing overtimes but the pile doesn’t seem to be getting less cause more work keeps coming in. time goes by so fast when everyone is pestering me because they seem to think their project needs to be prioritized first