day 1614 – bruised butt

meetings got shifted around so immediately had a long meeting once i got into the office. it was so busy at work before i knew it, it was already 11am and i have yet to eat my go to breakfast of peanut butter toast. i didn’t do a good job starting the month of october skipping my first meal, but i vouch to do better with eating. the fall in hockey really hit hard as i chose not to sit down at work all day because it gave my buttocks a ton of grief. i went to the gym to do my lower body workout which i probably shouldn’t have, but at least i exercised caution to make sure it didn’t cause it to feel worse. it was a much lighter day than i would have liked

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day 1609 – gym needs

headache at work got pretty bad again to the point where i didn’t seem useful and should just go home. but i stayed and kept thinking the tylenol will kick in soon enough. i was only looking forward to going to the gym, and stubborn enough even if i were to collapse during. i really wanted to since i haven’t made up for the missed monday and i wasn’t about to do another shuffle nor write off this week

day 1607 – ruined

nothing but disappointment missing my monday workout, missing dodgeball but that’s exactly what happened today. this forces me to rearrange this week’s workout schedule. i haven’t cramped this hard in a long time, but it was more than that which made it worse than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. it was an unrestful night where i laid in bed for hours not being able to fall asleep and when i finally do, i get woken up several times in sweat. even in terrible condition, had no choice but to to go to work because i had stuff to hand over

day 1590 – beneath 

i didn’t have to come today but i didn’t know what to do with myself when my mind doesn’t stop going. struggles still pop up though all this time i denied i was hurt much deeper than the surface. here i am on a friday night trying to workout like i have nothing else better to do. i have to step back, take a deep breath and remind myself i didn’t do anything wrong

day 1589 – worked up

sorting out my feelings got me more down. such a downer i had no appetite despite being hungry, loss of words despite wanting to converse, no interest in working out despite it being my happy place. because a dear friend reminded me that i must treat myself well and do what makes me happy – that got me to the gym today. always reiterated and reminded that should i be undervalued, i have no obligations to be taken for granted. i made it to the gym today which made me happier, but not a good one when failing on my routine stuff

day 1582 – low light 

change of plans and headed straight home because the low blood sugar hit me this afternoon. required a short nap and woke up feeling so so but still set on a trip to nash anyway. did not expect a whole lot so but nothing bad happened so i’d say i passed. trying to brush off the disappointments one after another, but at the end of the day i need to learn i’m living for myself and doing what’s best for me. maybe it’s good to learn to expect everything from myself and expect nothing from others

day 1575 – casual pr

my hand still hurt like a beep but going in cold for my second try at my normal monday workout. my crippled hand is still painful to open and close, meaning no deads today but still got to finish the squat portion. i went in just wanting to lift something without judgement, but instead casually matching my post rehab record weight for four, which is upped from last week