day 1558 – me menu

called everything off and put myself and only myself on today’s menu cause i need time alone to set my priorities straight. absolutely no work related tasks today – no work for the first time in sixteen days. i was going down the wrong path of cramming work in to avoid idle time which in turn has even more negative effect on my mental health. can’t say i’m not a workaholic but then realized i was more burnt out than ever. so first time sleeping in until eight, helped my parents moved furniture, went for a workout and cleaned my room. that is not to say i don’t see the relationship struggles, but we’ll both be working on it together. i do feel better thinking i’ve reset my priorities and reorganized my life for the upcoming week

day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1544 – lonely corner

the cage may be full, but the squat rack on the other side of the gym wasn’t. besides being in the stuffy side, it’s not so bad here. in fact, i kind of like being alone in this lonely corner where i can be me. i must admit i felt the heaviness after enduring the past couple days. my back and hip is feeling funky; must have been the jolt from yesterday’s game. what’s on my glute doesn’t seem like it’s just a normal bruise. had to cut workout short before i do some extra damage to myself. it was nice to walk the park with good old buddy just to catch up and unload

day 1537 – edgy  

my ankle was tender and swollen even after icing the night. haven’t seen a doctor to look at the bone but i was determined to go to nash regardless. so determined i iced on my way to work and while at work. did everything to force it because i wasn’t about to skip another leg day and leave any regrets. i went through my normal routine minus the box jumps. i’ve noticed my strength is returning to me and happy to take that one plate back. good sign squatting and deadlifting didn’t cause any additional pain

day 1520 –  squat hard 

i was definitely frustrated waking up because i stayed up working on payroll and i woke up with another email of explanations. work in the afternoon dragged on and i longed to get out. i didn’t feel particularly good during my workout today and felt weaker than other days. schedule just haven’t had time to hit up the gym. not having done so all week long is really showing in my squats but i still hit it hard knowing i’ll feel it even harder the next day

day 1513 – box jumping

jumping my boxes is a liberty i no longer take for granted. actually, there’s very liberty i take for granted as my body has learned the hard way over the years. box jumps has been sparse ever since beginning my rehab with chiro. of the times i tried the past seven weeks, i either only managed a thirty box or stopped short in excruciating hip pain. two weeks into kineisiologist rehab today, i’m back on boxes and made a thirty nine box. the most positive note to take away is pain free jumps. i hope to keep up with the no advil days

day 1486 – start low

lightening up and still feel difficulty with five sets doesn’t bode well for my psyche. four weeks of disruption from my workout program and all my lifts suffers a tremendous drop. everything must stay within warmup range until i can prove my that recovery is at 50%. i’m trying to stay patient but i’m not very patient at this and it sucks the life out of me until i am fully back. i’m waiting on everything that i have little control over