day 2666 – combo train

i’m happy with the things i accomplished in my solo session today. i spent my entire time on the purple floor which is rare because i’d normally spend a lot more time upstairs on the blue and red mats. from now on, i’ll always walk into each training session with a goal. today’s goal was to work on combos, specifically everything that starts with a tornado. i made progress linking tricks together, and even rediscovered my cartwheel back tuck which i haven’t tried since pre-covid. the best part was unlocking the back tuck to knee landing and then comboing out of it. it felt good hitting it because this idea was pitched to me a while back, but i always thought it was out of my reach

day 2534 – teared up

i had a huge meltdown after class and it all started with being scolded for a drill i was expected to perform but couldn’t. had a long call with the coach afterwards who was very frustrated and thought i wasn’t cooperating today. i was extremely hurt when he said it appears i always skip the drills and don’t work at the technique he wants me to correct. usually, i take the instructions given and practice them the best i can, but he comes back and says i made no attempt to make the necessary adjustments. to say that i don’t put in the work or want it bad enough can’t be anymore heartbreaking because i can guarantee not many want it more than i do. i haven’t cried this much for as long as i can remember. i stayed out for six more hours just crying on my own and didn’t even bother eating dinner because i didn’t feel deserving. when i finally got home at midnight, i climbed into bed even though i knew it was going to be difficult falling asleep tonight

day 2504 – after class fronts

this week covers one of the move i really want – cart front. i was tired from the heavy squats earlier in the morning, but i really wanted to keep practicing after class. the coach came up to watch, but was displeased with what he saw and how i was drilling it. i felt bad because i let him down; he had every right to be angry. he grilled me until i could do it with the proper technique he wanted and sometimes being pushed hard is what makes me dig deeper. i really do appreciate that he spent time after hours helping me out with a move i really wanted. he’s also the one that doesn’t give a crap about my self confidence. i know i can handle it, but it’s also demoralizing

day 2487 – lights out

wrapped up a long training session that was just shy of four hours. it was a gratifying session where most things i practiced felt pretty good and i broke past some small barriers. started off with some basic front tuck drills and loading my cartwheel. eventually was allowed to take it blue mat and had better take offs and higher landings. my back tucks felt strong leaving the ground and landing higher. my back handspring is at a point where i can do two warm-ups and take it to floor. definitely felt more comfortable connecting my cartwheel back handspring and need not to cover up the edge. the one thing i wasn’t too happy with was my webster because it still feels so broken

day 2409 – taegeuk practice

third and last scheduled poomsae for all the bc championship competitors. i must admit these seven hours shifts with the extra training is one of the roughest saturdays. all the competitors have improved a lot since the first training, but i’m still feeling uneasy about a few. this was suppose to be the last session, but i think i’ll need to hold one more for my own peace of mind

day 2392 – airtracking

getting comfortable with tumbling on the airtrack is a good sign. steadily improving on the connection some sort of backward variation out of a cartwheel. right now it’s looking a lot like backtuck, but the goal is both a flash kick and a back handspring as well. i think a different setup onto a matted floor surface may better utilize the airtrack. i’m pushing for it and looking forward to the day i can comfortably do it on the floor

day 2364 – phone hijacked

whipped out my phone to film how my current back tucks look like. i left my phone for a bit and so many of these photos appeared in my album. my back tucks are looking more ‘complete’; it certainly evolved a lot since the first ones. the confidence and consistency has improved tremendously and the landing is a slightly softer and more controlled. i’m still working on my set to get more height in this flip so i can have an even softer landing which would be easier on my ankles

day 2304 – lesson plan

ever so busy getting students ready for tomorrow. i have about two dozen students taking this month’s promotion test. since it’s the last test of the calendar year, i’m cramming a few more who’s well overdue. i think as an instructor, i’m more concerned and nervous than the students who’s taking the test. i worked them all pretty hard today, keeping all after class longer than usual. hopefully their hard work pays off at the test

day 2274 – squat stance

working on the heavier squats after some hiatus. the past several weeks i kind of brushed it off because i either felt my legs were too fatigued or felt down from then injustice of my foot problems. it’s not like me to not feel like squatting or gyming in general, but life right now is just a struggle to stay afloat. no doubt the squats felt heavy, but i pushed through and expect to be sore waking up tomorrow. i’ll have to work extra hard to catch up with the programing

day 2220 – outside masters

keeping up with practice at masters class on one of my infrequent saturday off. i’m even more taped up than usual after getting a scrape across my instep yesterday, but that’s never stopped me from anything in the past. i’m glad i went because i got more pointers on how to refine my back tuck and x-outs. the bonus was getting to try them with shoes and then some x-out attempts on grass, both spotted and unspotted. i wouldn’t say i’m comfortable with it by all means, but the fear is slowly shrinking. it’s a pretty good way to end the month of august