day 1478 – buckle down

it’s inexcusable that so many times i lose my self discipline and stray off from what i need to be doing. there’s been a lot of pressure from different sources of life and i’m struggling trying to stand my ground. i didn’t sign up for this, maybe i was meant to be alone in the dark, forever. i’m so stressed out; it’s been disappointing the stress has so much impact on my willpower and the lack of it. there is no excuse to not have a better habit and stick with what i want

30 share it [seven]

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my onboarding gift from the company is secured in my seat. part of the perks of working in this office is there’s no shortage of food. when i say that, there’s anyways fruits, sweets and junk food to be offered even at the most random times. i don’t want to get fat. this will be a true test of my will power and discipline not to indulge on the abundance of food offerings

day 935 – start again

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my elbow is still up to no good and my thumb is also banged up. setbacks are bound to occur every now and then so i decided not to hang my head and start again today. sometimes things happen for a reason and through all that i will persevere and come out stronger each time. despite much of the day spent at taekwondo, gym is gym and that never stops no matter what condition my body is in

day 905 – my setup

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after the first round, i felt like i was going to die and making it out of the gym alive was questionable. i thought to myself that stopping after round one would be a huge letdown and wouldn’t be a good representation of what i am truly capable of. i kept chugging on one exercise to the next, hoping to at least finish with a respectable amount before i call it quits. i am truly amazed at what i accomplished today. not only did i finish all rounds of all exercises, but i am able to walk out of this gym feeling good about what i willed myself to do. i would say my first go of my modified workout went well. i’m totally okay with having sore legs and not being able to walk tomorrow

day 871 – lift a little

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soreness amassed from this week’s training and physio exercises shouldn’t stop me from my scheduled workout. i went to the gym as planned and was prepared to struggle mighty hard. as i had the weight on my back, i thought the bar felt extra heavy today. it was difficult, but somehow forced myself to finish it and walked off still intact. i was randomly thinking back on my squats this evening, and suddenly realized the weight i had mounted on my bar exceeded what i thought i had. i felt dumbfounded i hadn’t realized it at that time, but pleased that i had done it anyway. it goes to show that the mind likes to play number games and sometimes ignorance is a good test for the body

day 869 – by the litre

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i don’t drink much water or liquid in a day but i was up very late trying to down this bottle of litre water cause i said i would. so i fell off the track this week due to the uncertainties surrounding my finger which is ultimately the deciding factor for my next competition. i was very down and worried to say the least but only bottle up all those stresses and downplayed it as much as possible so not to let others worry. the past four days have been horrible; i spent much time being stressed and depressed, and couldn’t will myself to do anything. enough of being a pessimist, no matter what my physio says tomorrow, i am going to get myself back on track at being the best that i should be. don’t write me off until physio gives me the verdict. but even then, just because i don’t go to this competition, doesn’t mean i give up on my next competition

mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me