day 1900 – silly saturday

spent much time thinking and assessing how the things that’s become a norm in my life has shaped me. also spent some time reminiscing the summer time and times when i could go hike with the girls. it is not too cold to be out for hikes, beaches and barbecues, not to mention it gets dark by six. i didn’t do all that i wanted to this summer and now i’ll have to wait until the next summer rolls around. in the meantime, it’s time to start thinking about winter activities and how i could stay warm

day 1739 – family cake

four of four dinners and birthday cakes in my stomach. saved the best for the last –  a family singaporean dinner and tiramisu mousse cake. no matter how many years young, i’ll always be the little girl they brought up to be. i hope i can make them proud of who i am and who i’ll never stop working towards to become. i know whatever i choose to do, i’ll have their full support. i’m so grateful to have wonderful family, friends and teammates sharing this memorable milestone with me. simple kindness like such makes me happy and makes me smile. it’s been one heck of a week full of celebrations that shows who the real friends really are. i’ll give the eating a rest and get back on the health wagon

day 1630 – keepsake gems 

highschool best buddy sent over a surprise with pictures she found while cleaning up her house. i laughed when i saw my artona grad pictures. was highschool really that long ago and have i aged since then? what have i accomplished since and was it what i imagined life would be like? no. i graduated highschool expecting i’d have taken my architecture masters, that i’d be working in my dream job making big bucks, that i’d be living in a mansion i designed, that i’d meet someone who treats me as a destination. most of that is just a fantasy, but what’s real is i’m proud of where i am now and the adversity i had to face to get here

day 1177 – vantage point

image

taking a step back and putting everything on hold to regroup, recharge and recalibrate myself. i’ve been too distracted lately and not loving myself for who i am; if i don’t, no one would. the toxic feeling got too far to the point where i thought i wasn’t worth. it was a long overdue reset day where i did nothing related. i wanted a break and i got it, but now it’s time to find that fire and move forward in the right direction

know no limit

image

some things in life take a long time to learn, some things in life take a life time to adopt; many of which that takes longer are the lessons that are well worth the wait. i have been constantly hounded by motivated individuals that tells me limits only exist in the mind and that all records are meant to be broken and surpassed over time. their hard work and persistent ways of beating this concept into me has not gone to waste. i have been working hard on taking their words to turning them into reality, making progress every time i step in for whatever training it may be. i do have results to show for and certainly my mind has become stronger than what it once was not too long ago. being able to do what i couldn’t do last time is a step in the right direction, being what i thought i could never do is my ultimate prize. indeed, this is an important lesson i am still trying to drill into my mind, but i know it’s been slowly getting through to me. i hope my progress will be continual, that i will never stop short of striving for better every single time. one day, i ultimately hope to make them proud of me, to look back and see where i’ve been and how far i’ve come. i want no regrets, and i certainly don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone not having tried my best to achieve what i should very well be capable of

rebuild in motion

image
i took a tumble recently, literally and figuratively, and really hit rock bottom but that doesn’t mean i am allowed to stay down forever. thought long and hard and now it’s time to take action and do it for myself. sometimes all we need is a fresh start to revive and the best way to restart is to begin with a blank piece of paper. i took it upon myself that i would wipe off all the unnecessary and negative influences and only focus on the positives that would get me to where i want to go. clear my mind of clutter, always remember to stay humble and accept criticism as more reason to work harder and find my strong. as far as i am concerned, there only one thing standing between me and my goal, and that’s will. willing myself to be accepting to change, to be confident, to be disciplined and to be happy with who i am. there’s no other time to start but now and i don’t want another opportunity to slip away, because it’s now or never. it’s time to train harder for the things i want to achieve, eat smarter to give myself a boost and make the right choices to live better and healthier for my mind and body. the key is to be disiciplined and stay that way, and only then will i feel proud to be who i am. expectations are meant to be met, not lowered. it’s never easy, but i am about to take my first step

resolution series: [twenty] happy

image

people can be too judgmental and materialistic these days. yes it’s true, you can’t live without money, but you can’t live with happiness either; and the last time i checked, money can’t buy happiness. sometimes it is the little things in life that makes all the difference in the world.  even as simple as an act of kindness can go a long with in someone else’s life. the ultimate goal is living a happy life and getting what you want out of life. be who you are and don’t let anything change you. do the things you like and don’t let other people tell you otherwise. it’s your life after all, so it’s better to live the way you want than to have someone tell you how to live your life. there used to be so many negative people in my life that always told me what i couldn’t do and what not do to. that’s more reason to prove them wrong and make sure they don’t make such assumptions again. i like my sports and activities. i am also aware that i am made of glass and gets injured easily, but that doesn’t stop me cause that’s what makes me. through sports i find happiness; its my happy place whenever i need to destress or digress. also enjoy hanging out and chilling with my friends, trying new things, eat out, traveling, exploring the city and the world. these things make up me and i can’t imagine my life without them. i will continue to pursue my dreams and passion for as long as i can

resolution series: [nineteen] relationships

image

the many walks of life has brought me to many people, all of which have enriched my life in unique ways. every person has brought something different to the table but each of you have touched my heart one way or another. we took some chances and gave it everything. i cherish the memories and time we had and don’t regret any of that was created and shared. i am an individual that locks up a lot inside and doesn’t let my thoughts and feelings out unless i feel it’s the right person who can crack the shell to make me feel infatuation. there are some i really enjoy spending time with and feel comfortable being around where i can say whatever my heart desires. with these people, i feel an odd sense of security that changes all complexity. i regretfully say these selected few where we are highly compatible in many ways but can only wish but not progress beyond. it just cannot happen for so many complicated reasons i cannot and will not explain. it just wasn’t meant to be, our fate was destined to remain friends, and good friends we are. i look forward those that i will encounter and the chances i will take. if something was meant to be, it will happen. at the right time, with the right person, for the best reason

resolution series: [four] passion

image

twenties is often said to be prime time. it’s important time to figure out what you love and where your passion is at. if you don’t enjoy what you are doing, probably means it is time to rethink and explore your options. life is too short to dwell on what you must do on a daily basis, makes getting up every morning that much harder. it might be scary to realize you no longer love what you are currently doing, but it is better than realizing that now than in the next decade of your life. it may look like i knew what i wanted and where i was headed all along, but that’s not the case. it started off that way, but things change over time and sometimes the path may not be what you expected it to be. there are things i am certain about but there’s also a few things i have yet to figure out. i have a lot of self doubts and there’s no question i am afraid of failing to achieve what i set out to do, but it’s something i am working on. slowly but surely, i am beginning to find all the pieces to what i consider happiness. i like to travel, i like to eat, i like my gadget, i like the people i am surrounded by, and there’s no better place to live and do all that other than vancouver. i couldn’t be more certain about my passion and love for sports. being active is something i pride upon and definitely cannot live without. so no matter how many times i get injured or break myself, it doesn’t stop me from getting back at it even if everyone doesn’t agree with me. no matter what you do, do it with passion. life is a long journey, so make it worthwhile

resolution series: [one] finish

image

life presents many unexpected circumstances that act as distractions away from our intended goals. with so much going on in our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of what we need to focus on and follow through with. i always need to be reminded to finish whatever i started because i have the tendency of always wanting to give up when things get hard, particularly for things that i am not good at. i have been on the receiving end of many wake up calls and lectures that i must stop avoiding my weaknesses and in turn confront them head on. some things just came to me naturally; i need not to put much effort in to succeed. i have little problem following through with what i excel at but that cannot be said for things that didn’t come naturally. i excelled in swimming at a young age and swimming was my life. but when life got busy, i quit just short of getting my lifeguard certification and it still haunts me to this day. taekwondo came naturally early on but since i am so injury plagued, countless people tried to make me stop. but no matter how many times i fell and how many challenges and injuries i faced, i got back up and did what i needed to do. i wanted to prove everyone wrong and more importantly, i wanted to do this for myself and make up for my past regrets. running was never my thing as i found it boring and tiresome but i put in the effort to make improvements in this area. since i began taking rehab and strengthening exercises seriously, i have made leaps and bounds in my ability and recovery but there’s still a long way to go to get to where i want to be. so this year, i want to make my best effort to work on all those weaknesses and train it to become my strength. i know i cannot always carry self doubt with me everywhere, i just go out and make it happen