day 1549 – surgery reversed

i was prepared to spend my day here and walk out with metal inserts. did all sorts of tests, hooked up to machines, confirmed anesthetics, then the surgeon came and said he didn’t believe he could make it any better with a metal plate. i’m more than slightly confused with the turn of events; i don’t have a choice but to follow his plan of action of treatments at his clinic. after four or five hours of checkups and a few holes, i was discharged without being operated on. hospital aside, the transparency at one of my major life event is unacceptable and more than a red flag. i think i’ll forever remember this day as the day my heart broke

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day 1182 – perplexed

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the teaching assistant was going over the term project but lost me early on in the optional work session. i had no idea what was going on; i guess others started leaving for the same reason. remembering half the term’s mark is based solely on this term project made me stay a little longer and stress out a little more. i still stayed until i figured there was no point, plus i was getting super hungry. i’ll give it a rest tomorrow as there’s lots of odds and ends to take care of before i head out on my roadtrip

day 930 – head tangled

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this is what happens when my mind is not there while i am trying to do box jumps. carelessly doing things while i am physically present but mentally absent. my brain just hasn’t been able to focus on the tasks at hand because all the stresses are getting to me. why are there so many obstacles, conditions and road blocks separating me and my desires. it’s a bad sign when i am slowly beginning to believe me and my dreams were not meant to be

day 849 – big decisions

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i think i made one of the biggest decision since my existence but i also think it’s a necessary one. i’ve been in limbo for quite some time but i kept quiet and tried to hide everything inside. today, i took a huge leap of faith and let go of something i really should have let go long ago, but was afraid to do so. i sat at starbucks to recollect myself because i wasn’t sure if i was aware what just happened. now it’s time to collect my thoughts and think about the steps i need to take moving forward. this was an all important decision and i believe it’s the right one because without it, i would continue to be a robot assuming my regular routine. this really forces me to focus on what i really needed to do – think about what’s best for me

day 597 – model moment

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before anyone can even see what had happened, the few thousand dollar surrey civic plaza model tipped over the edge of the table top and came crashing down onto the ground. it’s now shattered into hundreds of pieces and if anyone thinks it can be glued back together to look like the original, they must be high on something. now that i’ve captured the chaos, i shall clean up this mess

day 378 – couldn’t go any more wrong

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the day far from over and everything thus far went so terribly wrong that i can’t even put into words. rough day when nothing can go right, i only wish there’s a way to lessen the burden. looking forward to tonight when i can use the gym as an outlet. i just want to be far far away from the rest of the world