day 1564 – warehouse sale

happily shopping for shoes to reward myself for a job well done. went shoe frenzy and tried on many to find the one that i couldn’t go wrong with. in the past i’ve neglected my own well-being and overlooked many of my desires because i was made to not feel important. i learn to grow, i learn to be stronger, and more importantly i learn to live to be treated the way it should be. over the next little while i will change up my priorities to be sure i put myself as one

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day 1498 – hiatus

having a hard time accepting the point it’s gotten to and where it’s headed. the hiatus must be changed because i feel it has regressed. i’m not going to settle for less because satisfactory just doesn’t cut it. when asked what i’m getting in return from all my sacrifices, i really couldn’t answer. now that i think about it, i’ve sacrificed myself too much without really much in return just because i let my limits be pushed. the accumulated frustration of neglected feelings and my well-being is tarting to show and i hate to think that i’m only called upon when i can be of benefit. i was warned that i’ll reach the point of snapping when i’m fed up with the one-sidedness

day 1173 – no go

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concluded my month-long debate with a tough decision. my team was shocked with the news, but concerned about my well-being. i’m passing on president cup as i didn’t have enough training time to feel prepared for an international event. i do have every intention to compete at the grassroot competition on the same weekend; couldn’t pass up on both events because my heart wants to compete. there’s no way of hiding my disappointment. i felt so dejected there was no way i could get my head in it to practice today. perhaps when i wake up tomorrow morning, i might feel relieved that at least a decision was made. only time will heal both wounds