day 2451 – snowy disappointment

the forecast was correct as snow fell overnight. it wasn’t a whole lot, so i could still drive my mom’s car to work. i was hit with a bunch of disappointment at flipping tonight. what i felt in december came back again – i felt like i wasn’t getting the same support and learning opportunity. i’m pretty frustrated i’m not getting what i need to make progress. all i ever hear is i’m making progress, i’m missing technique; but i’m not getting any support or guidance as to how to fix that technique or what it is i need to do to get there. it’s the neglect and the constant empty promises that’s really getting to me. maybe my initial gut feeling was correct and i should pack it in because no one believes i can land anything anymore

day 2331 – no headway

i carried around a heavy heart today because i’m not sure what my tricking future holds. today is technically the last class day of classes and i haven’t made any headway. i couldn’t say anything while i was with the gang, but i broke the moment i got home. for the first time, i spilled what my mind and body has been intending to do. it made me think back on all that’s happened and all that didn’t. it hurts me so much that it may have come to an end. all i could do is cry myself to sleep

day 2324 – reasons to quit

rough day doing flips today made me think of a lot of things that wasn’t suppose to cross my mind. i get the feeling others have already written me off and that i’ll no longer be able to land anything anymore. it’s unfair to be left hanging and it’s the main reason i’m considering quitting. i’m not a person that can settle with no foreseeable goals. in my mind, i’m thinking if i don’t land a new move either webster, butterfly twist, flash or flash gainer before the end of this year, i’m going to call it quits. maybe it’s better for everyone anyway so i’m not given false hope that i can be any good

day 1913 – headway

feeling pleased with my back tuck and the progress i made this week. the motions seem smoother, the landing feels more comfortable and the flip as a whole feels stronger and tighter. it also helps i’ve been able to workout more like how i used to, getting some of my plyo movements closer to where they used to be. i feel like i just need that extra push to make the breakthrough i’ve longed. besides the back tuck, the webster and cartwheel also feels a lot better through the drills and extra reps

day 1909 – webbing drills

stayed well after class to practice because i want my websters. it was the perfect time to drill them because i was able to receive some valuable pointers. i was drilling and drilling them into the foam pit; long enough past dinner and in time for late night matsuyama with the gang. i keep wanting to hit the open gym times, but it’s always difficult on weekdays with my early morning starts