day 1729 – tape-less tape job

img_20200130_2119092999369881383456291.jpgreplacing new tape on top of old tape all week long. it appears i have tape on even when i don’t actually have any on. it’s been that kind of life since last week and i’m surviving off tape job after tape job until i can go into physio. as it stands, my workload is so insane there’s no way i can take time off for an appointment. this doesn’t stop me from going to dodgeball, and won’t stop me from going to taekwondo

day 1386 – on strike

img_20200204_1533016726079542321668672.jpgtaking things a little personal and realizing i need to do something about it. it bothers me enough to tear up a little. it’s one of those things when i don’t feel deserving and i’m stubborn enough to do it. i prefer not eating and i will feel that way until i can hit the gym again. i’ll get hangry at times, but eating is secondary to being good enough in my own terms – not to mention it conserves time and money. it’s a little easier to get around it when parents are out of town

day 1366 – lingering effects

img_20200204_1531562313272003360520510.jpgslowly getting back to normally but there’s lingering effects both physically and mentally. somehow i am still hesitant and scared to eat regular food, or maybe i’m just worried i’ll get fat again. i’m hollow and empty inside, but i persuade myself i can wait it out. it’s one of those things i’d rather endure than being hurt and be scarred time after time. it affects me more than i’d ever want to talk about it