day 1136 – tennis semis

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watching the double header for men’s semifinal took my mind off a lot of unnecessary things. i was rooting for my current favourite player on tour, nishikori. he won the first set but came up short against wawrinka. despite today’s loss, nishikori still had a great run at us open to add to his bronze from rio. i guess i won’t be too sad about missing sunday’s final

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fight for it

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very, very late last night, i finally gathered the courage and came to a tough decision to pass up on this year’s us open. this may be a rare opportunity in my lifetime to partake in such a massive event of exceptional calibre. i never ever in my life imagined myself being granted this opportunity but maybe because of that, it instilled so much fear in me. it would have been a superb experience, but not one that i felt i was ready to take on alone. i didn’t feel like my physical capabilities nor my mental game was ready for this level of competition. i can’t deny i am very disappointed i choose to back out of these opens because it’s something i’ve been really looking forward to for months and months. sometimes i think i would hate myself for letting this chance slip away, but it’s a decision i made and one that i will be able to live with. i know that this decision was as tough on me as it was for those who devoted so much time and energy in me – with their heart and soul and giving me only positive encouragements. there’s several individuals i want to single out for they were always around to listen to all my rants, troubles and everything in between. but none more so than the hardass nazi who never stopped believing in me, who listened to my many insecurities and tried to put everything into perspective in order to will me to take the challenge. i can’t express my gratitude for all the support i have received along the way. i am sorry i couldn’t make this happen, i wished i could find the inner strength. i may seem down and out at the moment, but with time i will recuperate and bounce back stronger than before. i haven’t lost my passion for competing, it’s simply a little setback that i must overcome. moving forward, i will work extra hard to better prepare myself for nationals. it’s going to happen

day 893 – tough decision

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alone late at night thinking long and hard about my decision. truly thankful for all the supportive feedback i’ve received from the people i’ve spoken with on this topic; it made this tough stretch a little less painful. i think i have made my final decision to pass up what i’ve been dreaming of the past half a year – a chance at us open. perhaps having this decision made will end all those nights of waking up at 4am feeling extremely stressed. i’m no doubt disappointed i chose to back out of this opportunity but i feel it’s the right decision at this point. i feel terrible for all those that put their time and energy into getting me ready for this event, i feel bad i couldn’t make it happen. maybe it’s a sign i need to work harder on both my mental and physical game to earn my ticket to a competition as grand as us open. i haven’t given up my competition dreams, it just means i get a head start to preparing and training for the future ones. next up: nationals

day 781 – rained in

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having tennis withdrawal already even though it hasn’t been that long since i last played. the cold, rainy and cloudy weather as of late makes me feel even more gloomy inside. i don’t want to make myself believe it will only get worse in the next few months and that outdoor tennis will be put on hold. honestly i love vancouver but i am more suited for longer summer seasons where my tan doesn’t fade as easily

day 446 – heading home

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wrapping up my washington roadtrip with overall team success. can’t get home without paying the peace arch a little visit and of course getting through the long border wait. look forward heading farther down for the next one plus the rest on the list we are eyeing and it may be sooner than i know it. a lot of work and practice to be done if we are aiming for those bigger opens, don’t let it stop

day 399 – prime time us open

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tuning in at home to catch some second week us open action. so happy for kei nishikori who is playing best tennis of his life and making it to the semis. the djokovic and murray match had an intense first set but murray just wasn’t able to keep up with djokovic after the second. feeling really excited for Federer’s quarterfinal match tomorrow night

andy roddick forever my fave

happy birthday to my all time favourite tennis player. no matter what, he always gave his all and gave lots for his diehard fans to be proud of. i only wish he didn’t retire premature from the tennis tour so i would have the opportunity to watch him play live and potentially get his autograph. had my hopes up when he announced he would like to return to play in this year’s us open only to have my dream crushed by atp unwritten rules. nonetheless, retirement was his decision to make and as long as he is happy, i am happy for him