waking up at 6am was utterly difficult after sleeping in for so many. greeted by the ice cold office on the first day back at work. the heating system was doing the exact opposite of what it should be doing – bringing the outside cold air into the office. i was so cold my extremities were frozen and my brain refused to function. all i wanted to do was hover over my heater to stay sane. i felt utterly unproductive, but i guess a lot of others were on the same boat. i was told winter is coming
a much delayed sick day and stayed day home to do nothing. even after sleeping in until ten in the morning, i still felt really crappy. not only has my head been hurting constantly for weeks, i could feel my blood pressure is at a low and couldn’t get my head or body to function. knowing so, i had to deliberately feed myself some salt. although i didn’t go into work, i was still checking my work email hourly. not being able to make it out to hockey game isn’t so bad, but it’s alarming when i felt indifferent missing it
could barely keep my eyes open this morning but i still felt okay during the day. i had all the intention to go training tonight but everything kind of fell apart when evening hit. i went way off track i couldn’t get myself to go to training. instead, i turned for home where emotional eating happened. disappointment loomed over me and i feel so utterly disgusted at myself for being useless. i just want to pull a blanket over my head or better yet bury myself in a hole
last day of work for the year. it was a slow morning and time was going by even slower after lunch. everyone in the office are mulling around, waiting for an authoritative one to make announce dismissal. the whole department had a nice year end lunch out at brown’s social house. all i want to do is get off so i can go to the gym and then see my hamberites
my shadow treats me well, i will also treat it well with some expensive spanking new bridgestones. it was long overdue, but i finally got my tires replaced and no longer have to worry about incidental drifting even on non rainy days. my day was so scattered today; had little success at having prolonged productivity. ended the night hangry and frustrated, but not feeling worthy if i can’t first match it with productivity
sleeping has been an issue the last couple days. falling asleep has become increasingly difficult; waking up feeling like i never slept last night. i lay in bed seeing the clock strike 2am, then 3am and realizing my alarm is set to ring in four hours. it’s never a good sign when i get agitated easily and don’t feel up to doing anything productive. these days when i am indifferent about everything gives me a terrible and empty feeling inside. could it be the stress and unease as the competition date gets closer??
i am sad my phone took a hard fall. it’s like it had a bone fracture except it doesn’t grow back together in six weeks. the day didn’t go well – not feeling good, didn’t make my lifts and not being productive. maybe the turn of the calendar signifies summer vacation is through and competition training schedule is set to start up next week. the pressure is really starting to hit me now that offseason is over. offseason training was good because i got a chance to focus on new things and not worry about coaching, cutting and activity restrictions. the grind will soon begin, am i prepared??