day 1624 – matters matter

managing people requires understanding behavior and tapping into a person’s mind. in other words, it requires the science of psychology. and that’s exactly what i’m dealing with at work. i have new found respect for my manager as i finally felt what he goes through on a daily basis. after dealing with some, i sat down with him and he helped me put everything back into perspective. truth is stepping into a managing role means i can no longer shy away from dealing with people friction. i may not be used to it yet, but it’s a privilege to be growing professionally. finishing up eleven hours at the office before another two at taekwondo is going above and beyond; but always want more than i can physically give

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day 1584 – over and done

it’s finally made official, but deep down i know it’s over for the better. the decision to leave at one of my most critical time was already a telling tale; but i learned to bare next to no expectations from then on. if i was able to survive that storm alone, i’d be able to manage others just fine. i don’t understand why i held on even when i wasn’t happy, when letting go makes me hurt less. lots of things are about to change. it’s time to reset myself and get back to understanding what my own priorities don’t need to live in the shadows of everyone else’s

beyoncĂ© – if i were a boy

it makes me sad listening to this, but it also resembles the current. a lot goes to show that i’ve been taken for granted. it’s true that a guy will never understand what damages they make with a little mistake. once done it can’t be undone, once not done it cannot be made up for. i’ve lost all hope in making this a meaningful relationship if i can’t feel any care or support. i can’t make you better and i don’t want to change a person, but i have an option to move on. this really is the last of it and maybe one day, it’ll finally click

day 1543 – muggy days


a whole week of wet and muggy weather further dampens my already bad mood at the moment. day fourteen of being in a splint and i can’t help but feel very depressed that i can’t do seemingly basic things. others just see me as being grumpy; it’s hard for anyone to understand what it means to me to be on the sideline missing out what i love doing. i’m doing everything to the best of my abilities, and that makes people forget how much pain and inconvenience i’m in. the countdown continues, but the thought of taking the risk is always on my mind

day 1436 – neighborliness 

judging by the work i have to deal with today, work neighbor tried to lift my sugar level and spirit with some cocoa. even with the day that i was having at work, i still rather not get off work because i was dreading that meeting with sifu and simo. the reccurring theme of asking me to take on more than i already do. i don’t know how to make him understand i already have too much on my plate and no down time for myself

day 1060 – transpire

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sixteen timezones apart, no problem; a hundred timezones apart, still no problem. good friends keeping me afloat on this one because they will understand even when they don’t understand. she tells me you have to take their downs if you want to be a part of their ups; sometimes you fall because there’s something that you’re suppose to find. what i am searching for?? how deep do i have to dig?? that’s something i must find for myself