day 2039 – full size mcflurry

this will be the last mcflurry amongst all sugary treats as i’ll be doing a low sugar for the month of march. that means no more bubble teas, cookies, chocolate, ice cream, dessert and many other things that has added artificial sweeteners. i’ve eaten so poorly the last while i really should be ashamed. the laziness is unacceptable to my standards so it’s now time to clean it up and get fit again. i’m sure the transition is the hardest part, but i must stick with it. i’m excited to see what the results will be

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day 1118 – fell off

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after having fended off my fries craving for a week, i fell off the tracks and finally gave in. didn’t make up any sleep last night after a crazy busy weekend. i felt really tired in the afternoon but strangely couldn’t fall asleep. when i finally did, i only managed eight minutes of napping. i was suppose to go to a house party but didn’t feel like i deserved to so just went for a walk instead. maybe the built up mental and physical fatigue led me to make this horrible decision. i don’t know what went into me, but i just can’t let myself make these poor decisions again

day 855 – get it together

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feeling really upset with myself today for making poor decisions. also feeling upset that my hyperextended elbow got worse during dodgeball tonight. not cool especially with my all important playoffs coming up this weekend. no doubt i will turn it around starting tomorrow and stay the course. can’t stress how important it is from here on, no more hiccups allowed. need to constantly remind myself i have important things to do and big goals to reach

day 839 – not right

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i had a great weekend, only up to the moment i realize i had disobeyed all that i said i would do. i am fighting myself and feeling torn inside because i walked in with a number in mind but went well beyond that limit, i don’t know how it got so out of hand. it’s only finally hitting me hard today, the wheels have really fallen off and i don’t even know where to begin to pick myself up. what a heart felt disappointment when i have regretfully misused the trust others had in me. i failed others and most importantly i have failed myself. need to learn that discipline is choosing between what i want now and what i want most. perhaps i must be stricter and harder on myself and start my climb from the bottom again. i guess i deserved to have both my pinkies sprained during practice

day 756 – beat the rough

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late night gym time all to myself to digress because it has been a rough day. just needed some time alone to let me mind rest and let it all out and couldn’t think of a better place than this. i figured this is a better way of putting my excess and bottled up energy to use because earlier today i came ever so close to kicking someone in the face and had to use every possible reason to restrain myself from letting my limbs loose. if it did, she wouldn’t even know what hit her. i can’t believe how rude and irritating some people could be; she clearly crossed the line today and i take no exception