day 1721 – crap load

feeling pretty bad at work and also making bad decisions with food. my headache worsened, throat is dry and scratchy, knee is compensating for the hip, and on top of that i’m on some drugs and steroid drops. there’s a lot of work to be done at the office i can’t afford to miss any time. it’s my month to lead the design meetings and i’m currently heavily relied on so i feel obligated to hold down the fort. i toughed it out until the end but i’m going to crawl into bed before nine thirty and hope i wake up tomorrow morning good enough to work

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day 1169 – rattled

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there are instances when breaking down is the way to continue being hardy. had one of the heaviest conversation that i’ve been evading for as long as i could, but it was one that made my heart feel lighter. little was said within the conversation, everything else said it all. sometimes i’m at a loss of words because everything stays inside, but understand that i’ll always be the person you came to know. it was very difficult to follow through the night with dodgeball and training

day 1132 – sushi for days

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labour day was a lazy laid back day that included sushi for lunch and sushi for dinner. i do love my sushi and japanese food, i can eat sushi for days without getting tired of it. sandwiched in between the meals was a workout, shopping, grocery shopping and some project work. although the nagging back pain was getting worse, i was adamant on continuing with my monday routine. i stuck to lighter weights and still got some decent lifts in. must work harder if i want to eat

living through my falls

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it’s unbelievable how fast things could change and how far things could fall. outside my shell, it’s hard to tell i have lived through two very rough weeks. but beneath my shell, my life felt very close to the “underworld”, filled with mayhem that’s got me feeling rocking bottom. the descend started off with a week long fever, cough then cold. i couldn’t muster much activity during this time; i was bed ridden and under endless medication majority of the time. my body felt weak as ever; all the ground i’ve gained has been lost, and deep down i felt even worse about myself because i couldn’t do anything to change it. luckily, i had a personal nurse that took care of me and almost felt more concerned about my health than i ever was. just as i was recovering from sickness, the nightmare hit me hard – literally. ever since being struck at dodgeball playoffs, i felt like i was living in a really bad dream. having a concussion is scary because everything felt out of whack. my head and neck were throbbing, my movements were slowed, my speech and thoughts were disoriented, my appetite was affected – the bottom line is, i wasn’t able to function like my normal self. what made it difficult was i couldn’t tell people what i was going through nor could i disclose the severity fearing they will not let me continue with my upcoming events which means so much to me. i’m feeling slightly better with each passing day and a week after the incident, i can safely say recovery seems like it’s on course. thankful mo has been by my side during this rough span. just having his presence makes things better and gives me the inspiration to think on the bright side even when times get tough. i’ve fallen very far down and lost a lot of the gains i’ve been working hard at, but now is really not the time to hang my head. i’m not okay with myself and my performance in it’s current stage, so i’m going to make it right. i must get it together and make up that ground in a hurry. it won’t be easy, but it will be done

day 985 – imperishable

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it’s true very little can stand between me and my gym, even when my headache and cough is getting progressively worse as the day wears on. was feeling pretty shitty when i walked in, but the gym is a place that ignites me and gives me that boost of energy whenever it’s lacking; it’s my happy place. lots of people don’t agree with my recklessness, but i will do what i set out to do and would rather collapse doing so. i am a tough cookie afterall and i’d hate to skip gym

day 847 – secret stash

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i think my mom’s addiction to avocado just got worse. i came home and my mom was eager to show me the four new packages of ripe and ready to eat avocado sitting on the counter. this is good news for me because i will never run out of avocados for my salad. feeling a little under the weather today, with my headache getting worse throughout the day on top of a sorry back from all that deadlifting yesterday. but toughed it out for yet another trip to the gym and also out to run some errands

day 832 – power grid

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playing some power grid after accomplishing a tough workout is the way to go. it’s a great bonding activity where we chilled a little, chatted a little and played a little. i haven’t played board games in ages so i haven’t heard of any of the games they had to offer but i am willing to learn all. my first crack at playing this game so just learning the games and strategies as we go. it’s funny my arms are so tired that i could barely control my hands to hold my chips and maneuver my pieces