day 2219 – x-out breaking

with crunch time in mind, i had to work my way through some back tuck troubles before i can think of anything else. after getting the consistency down, x-outs were back in the discussion. had a few good attempts with foam targets and acetate sheets; thought that was good enough progress from training. i wasn’t thinking of going for boards today, but it only happened because of them giving me the extra push. honestly if i hadn’t progressed to to boards either today or tomorrow, i would definitely call off the x-out breaking option

day 1535 – office revolution 


made it into the office today and good to know that i was missed. it’s made official the main renderer has resigned, leaving me as the only renderer. my manager told me i am the front runner to step up into the role and be the next one. i’m extremely excited for the opportunity presented because it’s what i wanted. i’m scared that the bigger responsibilities may expand multi-fold and must learn the new programs with no support. it’s daunting just thinking about it, but it’s within my power to take, learn and grow into being something much bigger. afterall, my manager has the confidence in me and said i’ll go as far as i’m willing to

stay the course

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it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me

day 822 – back in motion

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really my first time back in the gym after knee failing and having a brief scare with my ligament diagnosis two weeks ago; and that for me, is beyond a long break. i was a little worried i wouldn’t be capable of anything near my best but most of my motions felt alright. it felt really good just to be back cause i missed it dearly – i just missed moving, period. definitely pushed it pretty hard today and expect to be pretty sore tomorrow but that’s a price i will pay

day 772 – writing outline

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have my competition outline all sketched out but not ready for submission since it’s all written on starbucks napkins. been postponing this tedious and always stressful process but finally took the initiation to sit down and plan it all out. no matter how long i put this off, i will still have to get it done cause it doesn’t do itself. offseason is officially over, let’s get 2015 competition training under way this september and hope for the best

day 647 – in action

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so this is the big stage at oregon convention centre. it’s my day to go out and prove to everyone what i am made of and i didn’t disappoint. i shone today as i stepped out onto the mats, took care of business and couldn’t be any happier with the results. i came out a gold medallist for pair poomsae and a silver medallist for individual poomsae. the morning seemed to go on forever with long waits and delays between my two events, that i didn’t even get a chance to eat lunch. but it’s all over and guess what, i will be bringing home some hardware

pressure is on

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just days before we hit the road for us world open in portland and i would be lying if i didn’t feel the pressure. experience does help a little, but no matter how many competitions i have competed in, the nervousness and jitters don’t go away. this time there is extra pressure to perform even better because of the competition in my division plus all the kids and parents around. i find myself sitting in front my line of trophies and medals, and hoping that my collection of hardware will continue to get bigger with every passing competition. training time remaining is limited until the big day and i must do everything i can cause my destiny is in my own hands. it’s time to train hard to give myself the best chance possible. now is the time is for me to shine so leave everything in the ring and have no regrets

transitioning

imagewith so much happening in the next four months, getting it back to normal starting april will be crucial to everything upcoming in may, june and july. another wake up call is needed on this day because i have fallen off the tracks and been procrastinating far too often. it was as simple as stating the obvious and getting right to the point because i am stupid so going around the matter doesn’t really get the point across. upon hearing what was said, the analogy that i have been slapped in the face, punched in the gut and stabbed in the heart sounds about right; which could only mean everything said was spot on. the fact that it hurt and affected me could only mean good things because it means i care and now understand the effort i put forth is unacceptable. i am glad someone found an effective way to provoke me and light the fire i have from within. i cannot lose sight of my destination or forget about how far i want to go but all this cannot be achieved if i don’t start today and stick with it everyday after that. today is the day to start because just thinking about it does absolutely nothing and result in no progression. at least now i have awoken and will make the necessary changes to do what is right

day 601 – something new

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trying something new because i felt like a challenge was in order. wouldn’t mind adding some new skills into my repertoire and seeing how far it takes me. i honestly believe i am capable of achieving the goal i set out to do so, all i need to do is go out and make it happen. the day i make new ground or fully achieve a skill is when i can feel proud of myself for having worked hard for it. i learn to never stay stagnant, never settle and always be hungry for more because there’s so much out there waiting for me to experience