day 1503 – patch processĀ 

after several weeks of being down, i’m still trying to come around to patch all my negative thoughts. during this period, i notice pessimism is still pretty high and emotionally weakened until patchwork is further along the way. thoughts still pour in when i see things unfold in front of me that i could only envy and wished that could be me. i don’t want to stay a negative person because it’s affecting me all around. the process is slow and somehow i’m still hesitant to speak as much

day 1477 – round and round

work and appointment went smoothly, yet it was still a bad day. even the sunshine didn’t change my state of mind. the little things really add up to a lot and i’ve realized more so of why i’m less happy. perhaps my inner self is starting to take exception to the diminishing consideration and respect. it sucks always being discredited and it sucks being secondary. it’s eating me up and i feel like my confidence is reaching an all time low. i lose sleep seeking self acceptance because i struggle to like myself for who i am

day 984 – water walks

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walking along the water just after sunset to wind down a great weekend full of activities. looking out into the water into the distant buildings and city lights gives us time to appreciate each other and recognize all that we have in our lives. never underestimate how a little time and the little things could add up to make a huge difference. cherish all the moments because time passes us by so much quicker than we expect it. so don’t let the chances slip away; express your thoughts, feelings with the deepest sincerity

day 849 – big decisions

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i think i made one of the biggest decision since my existence but i also think it’s a necessary one. i’ve been in limbo for quite some time but i kept quiet and tried to hide everything inside. today, i took a huge leap of faith and let go of something i really should have let go long ago, but was afraid to do so. i sat at starbucks to recollect myself because i wasn’t sure if i was aware what just happened. now it’s time to collect my thoughts and think about the steps i need to take moving forward. this was an all important decision and i believe it’s the right one because without it, i would continue to be a robot assuming my regular routine. this really forces me to focus on what i really needed to do – think about what’s best for me

day 727 – email outburst

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wrote one of my most satisfying email ever today, in response to a parent’s complaint. all my thoughts flowed out in smooth sentences and said exactly what my thoughts were from the bottom of my heart. not only was i not rattled after receiving this, but i am glad she made this complaint. this only gave me the opportunity to voice my opinion or i would never realize how i truly felt about the principles of my teaching, and i stand by it