day 2523 – nothingness

i had a super frustrating training session at tricking and left the gym crying. i’ve been going at cart fronts and btwists for some time but there’s next to no progress to show for. the coach would point out that i’m doing things wrong, but no matter what i do, i can’t seem to do what the coach is telling me do so he’s also given up on me. as much as i want to slow down and work on the technique, i don’t know how it feels like to be right. i feel so hopeless that part of me thinks i should give up on it because i’ll never get it. i’m told to take a break and work on something else, but that’s happened for all my moves, and as it stands i’ve accomplished nothing

day 2506 – normal lifts

it’s been a while since i could string together complete snatches and clean and jerks that i feel good about. at times i had the pull but not the receiving position, other times i had the jerk but not the clean. today i seemed to have it together better than the past few sessions even though i really lacked the sleep and energy. snatch drills went up to the green plates and pause clean and jerks felt comfortable at fifty kilograms

day 2504 – after class fronts

this week covers one of the move i really want – cart front. i was tired from the heavy squats earlier in the morning, but i really wanted to keep practicing after class. the coach came up to watch, but was displeased with what he saw and how i was drilling it. i felt bad because i let him down; he had every right to be angryhe grilled me until i could do it with the proper technique he wanted and sometimes being pushed hard is what makes me dig deeper. i really do appreciate that he spent time after hours helping me out with a move i really wanted. he’s also the one that doesn’t give a crap about my self confidence. i know i can handle it, but it’s also demoralizing

day 2492 – lifting duo

i did the best i could and tried not to let last night’s rough session affect my lifts, but can’t say i was too successful at hiding it. apex session was focused on clean and jerks. my lifts weren’t bad, but it took a lot to string together one good clean plus the jerk. i started off slow with the lighter weights but still worked up to a fifty kilogram clean and jerk. it was bench and row day for my second session back at my garage gym. i really wasn’t feeling strong with the shoulder, but surprised myself with a ninety pound bench for three reps. i’m really glad my friend comes to lift with meb he’s probably the reason why i push the weights i do

day 2483 – deadlift surprises

if you asked me three weeks ago when i started doing deadlifts after a couple years, i would not have expected to pull much over one plate. i was just trying to get my deadlift technique back, and was hovering around the one hundred twenty five mark. ever since i picked up the extra plate, we’ve been lifting much heavier. definitely felt super good after pulling one ninety five for three reps, which is thirty pounds shy of my all time personal record. i’m hoping i can match my two plate personal best before quarantine ends

day 2439 – driveway jumps

a morning-heavy day with my olympic lift tech session before doing sprints and kicks with the squad. moving my boxes out to the driveway so i can stack it up to thirty inches and not hit my head on the ceiling. the rest of my lifts were done inside the garage. i always dread the runs, but the ten sprints wasn’t nearly as hard as the eight that i started with. it’s rewarding to see cardio improvements with each training. i did all that on half a piece of plain toast and only got home for lunch at 1:45pm

day 2428 – choreographing

everyday since being in quarantine, one of the things i look forward to is going into the gym to train. it’s good that we’re putting some initial choreography thoughts into action. i do, however, worry that my basics isn’t sound, my skill-set is limited, my technique is inconsistent and i’m not enough to match my partner. the last thing i want to do is disappoint my partner and coach. the only thing i can really promise and control is to work hard at solidifying what i need to hold my own

day 2405 – snatchable

seven weeks restricted to working on cleans only, can’t say i wasn’t itching to snatch. i would’ve considered it a successful session just snatching the empty bar without any pain. i was even afraid i forgot how to snatch and need to relearn the technique. the fact that i didn’t rush back into snatching had a noticeable positive impact because i felt really strong and comfortable with every single rep. it felt so good that i got the green light to work all the way to the green plates for easy reps. so whatever i did today far exceeds any expectations I had

day 2451 – snowy disappointment

the forecast was correct as snow fell overnight. it wasn’t a whole lot, so i could still drive my mom’s car to work. i was hit with a bunch of disappointment at flipping tonight. what i felt in december came back again – i felt like i wasn’t getting the same support and learning opportunity. i’m pretty frustrated i’m not getting what i need to make progress. all i ever hear is i’m making progress, i’m missing technique; but i’m not getting any support or guidance as to how to fix that technique or what it is i need to do to get there. it’s the neglect and the constant empty promises that’s really getting to me. maybe my initial gut feeling was correct and i should pack it in because no one believes i can land anything anymore

day 2343 – marshmallow

when i said big things was coming this year, i didn’t mean marshmallow. starting off the sunny new year day being strong and chipping away at clean and jerk technique. i also got my car’s headlight replaced, cleaned out the rest of my wardrobe, organized some things and watched some prince of tennis. the dinner table was stacked with eight delicious dishes. ended the day relaxing with a facial mask. i would say that’s decent start to the year