day 1606 – photorefractive

didn’t end up having surgery done for my thumb back in october, but i certainly am having one done today. it took quite some courage to pull the trigger but prk finally done in the books. it’s a huge trigger and a huge change that i gladly braved, knowing it will be miserable during recovery stages. it involved a large sum, but i’m all in to making everything about my future brighter. rarely do i make clear cut decisions, but this one i made with confidence, for it will pay dividends in the long run

day 1549 – surgery reversed

i was prepared to spend my day here and walk out with metal inserts. did all sorts of tests, hooked up to machines, confirmed anesthetics, then the surgeon came and said he didn’t believe he could make it any better with a metal plate. i’m more than slightly confused with the turn of events; i don’t have a choice but to follow his plan of action of treatments at his clinic. after four or five hours of checkups and a few holes, i was discharged without being operated on. hospital aside, the transparency at one of my major life event is unacceptable and more than a red flag. i think i’ll forever remember this day as the day my heart broke

day 1548 Рhand specialist 


i know my way around the clinic the second time around and the same radiologist helped me take another batch of xrays. the bad news couldn’t get any worse each batch as the ones taken today shows my bone is now displaced and not in the right place. with that, the specialist decided surgery will take place tomorrow and i’ll be opened to do one of the two possible procedures. the news hit me hard, so stunned i wasn’t able to collect any of my emotions to react or think. the rest of the day was a blur because i felt completely empty inside with no feelings, no appetite, no motivation and none of anything. i beared all that burden alone as if i’ve always been alone from the start. i finally cried well into the evening and i’m glad i did; i found out at least i have emotions. i’m not scared of the procedure, but the thought of having something inserted in me makes me not me

day 1541 – recasted

i was anxious to see my referred hand specialist also known as cosmetic plastic surgeon. i saw my bruised and shriveled up hand as he removed my splint to take a new set of xrays. after flipping back and forth a dozen times and examining my bone, he decided he wasn’t satisfied and wanted to reexamine next week. he sent me home recasted with a fiberglass splint only to do it all over again to decide if i require surgery or not. the splint is slightly less bulky, but just as uncomfortable. i pray for it to meld back together quickly so i can get back to doing what i do