day 2084 – green plate snatch

one of my initial goal when i first started lifting at apex was to fix my snatch, and to eventually snatch the green plates. i’m so happy to have finally achieved that goal today. each time i’m at apex, i’ve been making progress and breaking my personal record from the previous session. even i cannot believe i’ve worked my way up to a one hundred and forty front squat. i’m sure as long as i keep working hard and tightening my techniques, i’ll shatter more personal records one after another. now i’m beginning to wonder if snatching the yellows is an achievable goal

day 2077 – loaded front squats

each tuesday at the apex gym, i’ve pushed a heavier weight than the preceding, setting a personal best every single week since i started training here. prior to being on this program, i’ve been stuck within the one hundred mark. i’m really pleased i just hit the one plate mark for front squats. my snatches also felt pretty good and upped my weight to sixty nine. though it’s not the max snatch, they’re done with better technique and increased consistency. let’s keep setting personal best for all my lifts including front squat, back squats, snatches and cleans

day 2063 – front loading

front squats triples with this weight came with a pleasant surprise. my front squats have improved quite a bit since i first started re-learning my olympic lifts with apex. the first workout on this program, i had a front squat of ninety nine and now i’m at one thirty. i can only afford to olympic lift once a week, so results will be a little slower. good to know that the goal of chasing the one plate club is not far away

2016 year at a glance

a look back at the highlights and lowlights of the past 365 days captivated by my carl zeiss lens. a lot has happened and all these snapshots are like puzzle pieces that write my story. 2016 was a year soul searching, a year of adventure and a year of realization. life was pretty grim at times; but it’s how i overcame these hurdles that sets me apart from who i was before. i’ve worked hard and learned a lot about myself and the others around me. i learned that sometimes i need to be selfish because i didn’t love myself for who i was. i learned to carry my own weight. i finally broke out from a plateau and figured out some things; things are starting to click and showing signs of progression. i am excited for the turn of the calendar year because 2017 will be a year of building upon what i have achieved and want to achieve. i’m more than ready to make the necessary adaptations to become the best version of myself and i want my dearests to be there by my side

day 1194 – power game

img_20200204_2157186759818405886261888.jpgfelt gross internally after a night out at the pub eating poorly, got to clean it up. but that feeling was slightly negated because i got my power game going strong. in the short time i returned from competition, i’m already back in my lifting game and made a pr today. i can’t explain the happiness i felt because ever since i started, i had set a goal for myself and today i made that goal. you know all is good when i can get back snatching and going for more goals

self discovery

img_20200204_2300039086522560560800566.jpgit was more or less a self-wrecking week with so many internal and external forces pushing up against me. it was all a combination of stress from competition, school, work, people but none more so than myself. the road has not been easy as i have felt myself slowly dying inside but i didn’t want to confront and address it. it hurts to know that leakage of my stresses was stressing out others. no one has a clue what is going on in my head and it’s probably better kept that way. i’m disappointed at myself for not handling myself better and keeping my emotions a little tighter. the last thing i want is to be a burden to anyone and add unncessary flavour to anyone; i made up my mind that interacting less and speaking less will be helpful. i felt safe that way just to eliminate any chance of doing or saying the wrong things. sometimes i wonder why i need feelings when i’m better off without them. during this time, i spent some time reading quotes and looking for inspiration to get me through this stretch. i’m already at a point of self-destruction, there’s nowhere else to go but up. i know i’m strong enough to get through these ruts, and in case i’m not, i need to find a way to become stronger. i do believe i’ll find my way out and the better is on its way

give and receive

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recently each and every day is a mighty struggle because i am trapped in a battle against myself and within myself. regardless of what i go through, i try not to let problems surface and definitely don’t allow my mood to fluctuate. i never want my troubles to affect others because i am a strong and independent girl that ought to take care myself and not cause others to worry. truth is, i’ve been really troubled lately and i just don’t know what to do with myself. there are nights when i sit alone thinking about everything i am, everything i am not, and then eventually emotions get the better of me. sometimes i am uncertain what purpose i serve in society and why my existence even matters?? what exactly sets my heart on fire and where my passion lies?? this is a routine i would go through day in and day out, but so far i’ve come out empty handed majority of the time. every now and then, i would feel my strength as a person has been decreasing with every self destructing battle i fight. then i think to myself that life gave me those challenges because i am strong enough to live it. knowing nothing comes overnight, i can only carry on and stay positive that something will come along as long as i keep going. this is only one of the few challenges i will encounter in my life, and i am set on defeating it

self belief

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over the past week or so, i have been receiving ample of coaching, advice and prep talk on what it means to have proper mindset. the idea that i must head into each event with the confidence that i will nail my every move as i imagined it to be. i have been told i have total control over what i can give and what i can do. i have been told countless times that i need to believe in myself and trust my skills enough to let it do the talking. my body has done each move more than enough times where thinking does no good; all moves should now be second nature. i can’t reiterate how important it has been to have these prep talk and guidance to ensure my mind is in its right place. it really puts me in a more comfortable spot heading in, knowing i am mentally stable and ready to take on what’s ahead. i can walk into the competition believing they are right there with me every step of the way. it’s true i can’t control the end results, but i will take all the things they’ve tried to hammer into my mind and put it to heart. all i ask of myself is to go out on the big stage, give it everything i got and let the rest take care of itself. that alone, will make me proud for i have conquered and accomplished what i was never capable of before. this has got to be the strongest mentality i ever had going into a competition. they have done so much for me and been so patient with me over the last little while. they stuck with me through my toughest moments and did all they could to instill calmness back into my mind. i owe it to them to put forth my best effort and bring it home

2015 at a glance

pulled together snapshots of some of my favourite and not so favourite moments of 2015. through this unfiltered eye, it pieces together my year and the things that took place behind the lens. it was 365 days of ups and downs, but having survived it all made me realize and learn more about myself. i have grown on many levels, taken strides to step out of my comfort zone and in the end, all that made me a better and stronger person more readied to tackle greater challenges. i will take all the lessons learned and head into the new year with the mindset of continuous progress and self improvement. 2015 had it’s moments – building the foundation and laying out the backbone necessary for success. i have a good feeling 2016 will be a year of many breakthroughs and personal achievements

know no limit

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some things in life take a long time to learn, some things in life take a life time to adopt; many of which that takes longer are the lessons that are well worth the wait. i have been constantly hounded by motivated individuals that tells me limits only exist in the mind and that all records are meant to be broken and surpassed over time. their hard work and persistent ways of beating this concept into me has not gone to waste. i have been working hard on taking their words to turning them into reality, making progress every time i step in for whatever training it may be. i do have results to show for and certainly my mind has become stronger than what it once was not too long ago. being able to do what i couldn’t do last time is a step in the right direction, being what i thought i could never do is my ultimate prize. indeed, this is an important lesson i am still trying to drill into my mind, but i know it’s been slowly getting through to me. i hope my progress will be continual, that i will never stop short of striving for better every single time. one day, i ultimately hope to make them proud of me, to look back and see where i’ve been and how far i’ve come. i want no regrets, and i certainly don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone not having tried my best to achieve what i should very well be capable of