day 1431 – award

brought home another from the annual award presentation. what i get in return for dedicating lots of my energy and sacrificing so much into making sure i maintain a standard for killarney. this branch has steadily grown and i’ve been proudly holding the fort down since 2013. it’s often to hear that i’m one of the strictest, and i would agree. i uphold a standard of my own regardless of what other’s may be, not a daycare or a belt selling school

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day 839 – not right

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i had a great weekend, only up to the moment i realize i had disobeyed all that i said i would do. i am fighting myself and feeling torn inside because i walked in with a number in mind but went well beyond that limit, i don’t know how it got so out of hand. it’s only finally hitting me hard today, the wheels have really fallen off and i don’t even know where to begin to pick myself up. what a heart felt disappointment when i have regretfully misused the trust others had in me. i failed others and most importantly i have failed myself. need to learn that discipline is choosing between what i want now and what i want most. perhaps i must be stricter and harder on myself and start my climb from the bottom again. i guess i deserved to have both my pinkies sprained during practice