day 2248 – noodles night

after a long taekwondo teaching shift, went out to have noodles with parents. it’s been a real busy and stressful term, sometimes i think the grandmaster is testing me and not my students given the scenarios i’m put in. i struggle to have set teaching staff all term. some students were preparing for tomorrow’s promotion test and some are training for master cup. it’ll be longer shifts for the next couple weeks until competition day

day 2073 – pearl fever

i happily holding onto my bubble reward for the twenty back tucks i was challenged to do. the perfect reward to end a frustrating and stressful week that made me want to walk out. i didn’t have any appetite even though i was hungry. i’m glad i didn’t go straight home and instead hung out with my friends to wind up the friday night. this would be my first milk tea from the highly touted pearl fever and it didn’t disappoint. the thirty percent sweet was perfect and just how i like it even though my friend who bought it didn’t think so

day 1965 – star performer

i must say getting a star performer plaque for the year was the pleasant surprise. it has been a crazy stressful year. many days i just go about my business and work my butt to make all the deadlines. it’s good to know that the hardwork and dedication to hold this fort down didn’t go unnoticed. and this year i showed up to harrison to represent the design tech team

day 1826 – work calls

i went into work and did my lunch and learn presentation. i went not because i wanted to, but cause obligation calls. the way everything has unfolded recently left me feeling sour and i’m about to give up trying to reach for justice. i no longer feel like standing up for what’s fair and will just do whatever is said. the amount of work i manage, the amount of stress from all directions, and the lack of respect i’m receiving just doesn’t add up. the renumeration that was promised doesn’t exist. if things don’t change, then i’m on my way out

day 1542 – work selfie


plugging in the headphones at work to prevent too many distractions. people realize i’m not i’m the office for two days and feel the need to bother me. i have a lot of emails to catch up on and haven’t got the time to entertain people’s nonsense. i got really ticked off when someone came over to almost tease my minor sprain he called it. i went to bed without dinner since the stressful day took over my appetite. it’s not like i can exercise anyways so i might as well keep the eating off

silencing

the last week or two has been overtly stressful when i should be practicing but can’t. every waking hour means it’s closer to competition day, yet all i can do is feel hopelessly antsy and frustrated that i have to stay put. on top of that, i’ve been put under a lot of undue pressure to take on more than i already have. my plate is beyond full and i don’t know how i can possible pile more on without toppling over. the stress is making me lose sleep, lose appetite, lose my words and lose passion. being quiet is not a source of outlet, but i’m not sure if i’ll be understood even if i speak. who would actually relate to  how i feel and why?? as another competition nears, i just want to focus on that but looks like that’s too much to ask for. the pressure is once again getting to me and i feel less ready both physically and mentally. the pressure of expectations is both internal and external; i can’t bear to leave people disappointed and almost want to apologize prior to the event. this is really not the time to fold. i hate how i am weakest when i need to be the strongest. where do i search to find the strength to carry forward

day 1277 – touched

this sport comes with a lot of challenges; at times i lose sight of why i’m in it, but i’m thankful to be involved in this sport. this role assumes many responsibilities and comes with overwhelming stress, but little do i realize how much passion i have for taekwondo and how much pride i take in teaching. i never expected to get anything in return, but i’m truly blown away by the sincerity and appreciation of my students. i smiled when i read the blurb – it’s a simple gesture but i am touched