day 1297 – where is it


not pleased that i just can’t find the determination i had when i was on top of my game. i’ve slipped far down and reality check startled me and no confidence took a big hit. i miss those days when i stayed focus on what i wanted. the hardest part is finding it and running with it. things will have to be different from here on because i can no longer tolerate my own  lapse

Advertisements

down to business

image

checking in a month into the new year. it’s time to set my february goals straight, but before i do that, a quick reflection on january. i didn’t do terribly bad for january goals but i really should have done better. a rough month it was, suffering with uncertainties and going through with tough decisions. it’s safe to say the stresses got the better of me in the latter half of the month but enough of letting my emotions get the best of me. moving right along because what’s passed is past so not going to dwell on it. february is a short month, but doesn’t mean i ease up when it comes to goal setting. in fact, it’s the exact opposite of that cause i have some hefty goals awaiting with lots of gains to be made. this only means it gives me very little room for deviation as i stomp on the gas pedal and run full steam ahead. it’s all about knowing what’s important to me, setting my priorities straight, sticking to the game plan and staying the course. i’m feeling oddly motivated to get my shit together for february and do what needs to be done. it’s about time i learn to clean up my act and learn a little something about accountability. all i am just asking of myself is to give it my all and be the best i can be. for once, be able to live up to expectations and turn some doubters’ head while doing so. i’m going to be one ambitious chick looking to score big this month and nothing can stop me now

day 883 – downtown countdown

image

spending the last of 2015 near canada place enjoying beautiful holiday lights before some highly anticipated midnight fireworks. the night was so cold, two brisk walks along the seawall was more than enough to get us frozen head to toe. 2015 was good for the most part, but i know that 2016 will be the best year yet. ready to take on bigger challenges that will get me past levels i have come far too comfortable at staying within

stay the course

image

it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

day 855 – get it together

image

feeling really upset with myself today for making poor decisions. also feeling upset that my hyperextended elbow got worse during dodgeball tonight. not cool especially with my all important playoffs coming up this weekend. no doubt i will turn it around starting tomorrow and stay the course. can’t stress how important it is from here on, no more hiccups allowed. need to constantly remind myself i have important things to do and big goals to reach

know no limit

image

some things in life take a long time to learn, some things in life take a life time to adopt; many of which that takes longer are the lessons that are well worth the wait. i have been constantly hounded by motivated individuals that tells me limits only exist in the mind and that all records are meant to be broken and surpassed over time. their hard work and persistent ways of beating this concept into me has not gone to waste. i have been working hard on taking their words to turning them into reality, making progress every time i step in for whatever training it may be. i do have results to show for and certainly my mind has become stronger than what it once was not too long ago. being able to do what i couldn’t do last time is a step in the right direction, being what i thought i could never do is my ultimate prize. indeed, this is an important lesson i am still trying to drill into my mind, but i know it’s been slowly getting through to me. i hope my progress will be continual, that i will never stop short of striving for better every single time. one day, i ultimately hope to make them proud of me, to look back and see where i’ve been and how far i’ve come. i want no regrets, and i certainly don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone not having tried my best to achieve what i should very well be capable of