shaping 2018

48362617_2157115414617618_3192469338808385536_n.jpg

2017 was challenging that staggered between many emotions, some happy, some successful, some difficult, some burdensome and some heartbreaking moments. i was struck by my most depressing moments that resulted in bottling up emotions where self destruction happened. underneath the outer shell, was three hundred and sixty five days of constant battle that left many unseen scars. after this three hundred sixty five day battle, i came to realize i had ample growth: grew stronger, became braver, gained experience and expanded my knowledge. the struggles gave me a different perspective in life, the achievements gave me hope to to continue to climb. life is a journey defined by how well one copes after being knocked down. looking forward into the next twelve months, i’ll regroup and pull myself together to find my strong. i’m a fighter and won’t stop short of reaching my goal. as long as i stay strong, keep grinding and never settle for less than my full potential. life is about betterment and i’m committed to being the strongest version of myself

the latter part of 2017 wasn’t the best of days and was a true test of patience. the long drought, the fluctuating health, the seesawing emotions were all big obstacles, but i made sure all loose ends were closed. waving 2017 goodbye knowing 2018 has much more for me in store

  • get back healthy and stay as injury-free as possible
  • consistent training and eating with proper sleep
  • step up my game and take it to the next level
  • setting my priorities and boundaries
  • love myself for who i am, love my family, love my friends
  • stay focused towards advancement
  • attain more designations
  • save up for the numbers game
  • explore and travel the world
  • devote more time on what sets my heart on fire
  • step out of my comfort zone and expand my horizon
  • acknowledge being a workaholic but appreciate the little things

i’m ready to start 2018 off strong and be the stubborn goal digger that i am. just remember the best has yet to come

Advertisements

day 1453 – hamberite brunching

we rarely get to meet up but it’s good that we still keep in touch through the years. didn’t get much sleep last night but up for a precious get together when one flies over to visit. this is such a cool camera lens add on, i want one too. had a great day at hockey where i had a lot of fun and gave me some positivity. i played a great all around chicks game scoring a goal, knocking down a guy and good forechecking. a very satisfying performance to make up for yesterday’s terrible performance

day 1350 – on my feet

just as i thought the days couldn’t get rougher, more misfortune hit me hard early this morning. i was depressed and ready to pack it in but he reminded me of the positives. at the end of the day, fortunate to know that he’ll take the time to make sure i get back up on my feet. the company i received while doing something i enjoyed helped destress and lifted my mood; realized there’s still a reason to smile. this might be the last time i wear these skates; next time i lace up, i’ll be starting off fresh

day 1179 – dumpling master

image

it’s all about aesthetics this afternoon as i’m perfecting cooking dumplings and making sure it’s cooked to the perfect shade of golden brown. i may be a picky eater, but require nothing fancy nor expensive, just need basic food that’s done the right way. chicken dumplings paired with banana got me through another saturday shift; keeping it simple just like any ordinary saturday

day 1107 – yonder

image

taking advantage of the sunshine by going on a short hike up burnaby mountain. peeking beyond the trees to catch a glimpse of the undisturbed water and islands out north. i can’t explain all that’s going on inside but getting out into wilderness draws my attention away from life challenges and disturbances. but no matter the situation, trying to not let it get to me. all that’s waiting for me is just beyond the horizon

day 1086 – bruce quote

image

thinking of something to get myself going again. this man says some very powerful things that i would like to live by day in day out. in bruce lee’s wise words, always be yourself, express yourself and have faith in yourself. it’s a tough stretch, but we have each other’s back to fight through all battles. sometimes a quiet and simple evening brings out the quality of our time and lightens up the mood. just remember tough times don’t last, tough people do

give and receive

image

recently each and every day is a mighty struggle because i am trapped in a battle against myself and within myself. regardless of what i go through, i try not to let problems surface and definitely don’t allow my mood to fluctuate. i never want my troubles to affect others because i am a strong and independent girl that ought to take care myself and not cause others to worry. truth is, i’ve been really troubled lately and i just don’t know what to do with myself. there are nights when i sit alone thinking about everything i am, everything i am not, and then eventually emotions get the better of me. sometimes i am uncertain what purpose i serve in society and why my existence even matters?? what exactly sets my heart on fire and where my passion lies?? this is a routine i would go through day in and day out, but so far i’ve come out empty handed majority of the time. every now and then, i would feel my strength as a person has been decreasing with every self destructing battle i fight. then i think to myself that life gave me those challenges because i am strong enough to live it. knowing nothing comes overnight, i can only carry on and stay positive that something will come along as long as i keep going. this is only one of the few challenges i will encounter in my life, and i am set on defeating it