day 2458 – bake cookies

felt quite lethargic from the moment i woke up this morning. i cut my lifting session short because i was running really low on gas. i only completed my cleans and front squat complex plus the row and good morning superset. i felt super bored in the afternoon so popped the cookie dough made by my friend. i shared the freshly baked white chocolate walnut cookies with my parents and ate the remaining three

day 2411 – discouragements

sometimes i may show nothing on the surface, but deep inside i’m just discouraged and hurt. i couldn’t contain myself when i got home at night because it’s hard to accept i still have yet to get my webster and flash despite all the time and energy spent on it since november. it’s hard to swallow that everyone is improving so much quicker and here i am still working on the same thing time after time, still being told to be patient when i can no longer be patient. sometimes i wonder why i’m still going in to work on it when nothing is going to change. i don’t want to be the hard worker that gets nothing done

day 2223 – sloth day

my flex day consisted of no alarm clock, no schedule and barely any moving. desperately needed this day off after spending many hours working blackbelt test, training for blackbelt test and taking the blackbelt test. the boards i held and the boards i kicked left so many cuts and gashes. basically spent the morning watching a netflix movie and another movie at the theatres in the afternoon. no part of me wants to go back to work tomorrow

day 2157 – civil appearance

after three weeks of vacation, and two weeks of bailing due to unforeseen circumstances, i’m making my appearance back at civil war. i was worried i wouldn’t remember how to gear up or how to skate. to be honest, my legs were gassed halfway through the ice time. living proof that there are some things you don’t forget once you learn, but there are things that will feel slow and be out of shape after a while. i understand why people could puke first day back after some time. it’s a good feeling to be back on the ice, i’m sure my legs will have some affect tomorrow

day 1869 – apparatuses

didn’t spend any time at my own desk this morning. i had a good long meeting with the director followed by the bpdt team. constant meetings is very draining so really looking forward to getting off work and onto my way to practice some acrobatic stuff. felt a little tight and lethargic, didn’t really feel good about my back tucks. progress has been really slow, and i’m disappointed to say the least. i’m sure a lot of setbacks as to do with my ongoing shoulder woes

day 1472 – corridor floor

DSC_1662third day of the contractor laying down hardwood floor. it’s coming along nicely; he’s working slowly but diligently as those curved steps on the stairs is complicated. i hope he can get more done over the weekend so i don’t have to deal with the sawdust. it’s looking quite nice but i still don’t like how the random creaking noises comes with. no matter what, i think i’ll always prefer carpet in my bedroom

day 1413 – patch processĀ 

img_20200130_2245387066162134431817214.jpgafter several weeks of being down, i’m still trying to come around to patch all my negative thoughts. during this period, i notice pessimism is still pretty high and emotionally weakened until patchwork is further along the way. thoughts still pour in when i see things unfold in front of me that i could only envy and wished that could be me. i don’t want to stay a negative person because it’s affecting me all around. the process is slow and somehow i’m still hesitant to speak as much