day 1686 – skate tongue 

playing for the first time with my skate tongue in and i kind of like how the skate is more snug on me. the order of putting on gear will have to be slightly altered but that’s something to get used to. not feeling great after a barely catching any sleep, but still had to push for a rushed deadline today. took a nap alongside some tylenol and even then just wasn’t quite enough to be in game shape. my reaction and timing was off, but i did play a well defensive game covering for centres and coming back for odd man rushes. tempted to take a little time off work if possible; a little rest would be nice for my current tired soul


day 1685 – board cuts

the aftermath of a blackbelt test i didn’t want to work. it didn’t bode well from the beginning and only got worse when i’m told by the grandmaster to hold a board when he knows very well my hand isn’t healed for it. it really has become a hostile environment i’m tired of bearing his unreasonable and unethical ways. it has caused me too much grief and too much sleep and i’m no longer willing to go the distance to suit his needs while i sacrifice my happiness. either his attitude has to change and respect has to be there, or that’s the end of an era

day 1650 – free boosters

free booster juice for the design team courtesy of manager who won the super bowl trivia. i’ll gladly take the strawberry storm smoothie over my lunch because i had a major toothache from the mini surgery. it hurt so much to eat i don’t even have much of an appetite anyways. i was told i looked sick and i certainly felt unwell since it kept me up all night. if i can’t catch some sleep again, i might have to pop some tylenols or go back to my dentist. i’m not a happy camper at the moment

day 1517 – ruined

nothing but disappointment missing my monday workout, missing dodgeball but that’s exactly what happened today. this forces me to rearrange this week’s workout schedule. i haven’t cramped this hard in a long time, but it was more than that which made it worse than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. it was an unrestful night where i laid in bed for hours not being able to fall asleep and when i finally do, i get woken up several times in sweat. even in terrible condition, had no choice but to to go to work because i had stuff to hand over

day 1465 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1435 – monotonous 

another day and another sleep deprived night. it was hard enough to fall asleep, but it was harder to stay asleep; i couldn’t stop waking up thinking i overslept. the discomfort today got so much i resorted to some tylenol so to dull the discomfort. for the rest of the day it felt like a drag and i wasn’t really present. i had no appetite by dinner time i didn’t even bother. affected me everywhere at rehab and even just lying down

day 1433 – rehab progress

had trouble falling asleep last night after one day of sleeping in. it’s stat but up early and in the office for half day to get some work done before rehab and stuff. the moment when i tell my kineis my legs are sore and he assigns me paused squats. the sessions are going well and i do feel i’m improving quickly. i like what i’m learning and it gives me a lot to work with. he definitely worked me pretty hard today but i like how he’s pushing me when he sees that i can get better quicker. he’s realized he can throw me into the deep end and i’ll swim