day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

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day 796 – slow moving

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feels like a perfect sunday wasted. the sun is shining for once and all i did was teach in the morning and attend a marcom meeting in the afternoon. opted to skip out on gym as planned and not actively enjoying the rare sunshine we will hardly get in next few months. i hope the lethargic feeling goes away soon cause i can’t afford to be an antisocial couch potato