day 2305 – fourth dan cert

retrieved my fourth dan certificate from the grandmaster during the colour belt test. when i first took on taekwondo, i never thought i would have such a long journey, never thought it would develop into a career. it was a long and hectic test, but everything went well up to and until i got kicked in the hand holding a board. it was a blur after that because i couldn’t stop thinking about how badly my hand was injured. i tried to finish running the rest of the test grasping one ice pack in hand

day 2082 – secret backtuck

it was a gruesome four hour long colour belt test that saw one hundred and fifteen students. my lungs were exhausted after calling out instructions nonstop, but i’m committed to doing a back tuck every time i step in the dojo. i tried to do it while the grandmaster was out of sight lines but because my mental setup isn’t instant, he walked back into the frame in time to see it take place. he reacted in a way i didn’t expect – very surprised and encouraging. i expected warnings from him to avoid high risk moves, but instead he showed interest and excitement in my ability to do acrobatics and even asked to send him the video. i wasn’t happy with that particular flip because i could only muster a tired flip, but the footage is now on his facebook page

day 1820 – hard questions

img_20200130_212545729484898212674926.jpgonce in a while some questions come up i either don’t know how to answer, shouldn’t answer or don’t want to answer. noticeable that i’ve pulled myself out of involvements in the world of taekwondo. i no longer teach or attend poomsae trainings, took break from competitions, skip demos, and avoided going to main school. all i do is run my branch school and keep making improvements. now when asked if i’ll resume my commitments and return to the competition floor, it’s really hard to say if i still have it in me and i have the heart to make a comeback

day 1536 Рsandwich 


img_20200203_1447322515312377002384244.jpgsaturdays is barely considered meal prep. if lucky, i’ll get two toasts in; if not, one will get me through until dinner time. all these years i’ve managed killarney saturday classes as well as i could and no question i put my heart and soul into it. if sifu stopping by today changes because i taught wearing a t-shirt instead of full uniform due to a broken thumb, i have nothing to say except it’s unfortunate. parents were concerned for me; why i wasn’t rest the injury and taking a day off when i’m obviously in considerable pain. i am here being my workaholic self because i know my students need me more

day 1514 Рperspiration 

my glutes are in extreme soreness and overall body is tired after a workout and coaching session. i forget how much i have to demonstrate when sifu is there. so sore i was in limbo to go workout or not. in the end i went because the blueberry muffin devoured earlier needed to be justified; won’t let myself eat without having exercised. in transition between my program; the increased urgency is the cause of more sweat

day 1507 – working slave


this fifty nine hour work week makes me i more like a working slave. i was pressured into taking an extra teaching shift that i was reluctant to take. i didn’t want to work a thirteen hour breakless shift on a friday but that’s what it came to be. sifu made me very uncomfortable with all the things he’s forcing upon me; he expects me to take the roles of school poomsae coach and the team bc poomsae coach which comes with added certifications i must first complete. thinking of the increased regular training and time commitment stresses me out, as if i don’t have enough on my plate already

day 1477 – new salary

img_20200203_1531139026052472221022023.jpgreceived my first pay stub with my new remuneration; means a lot to me to finally have my hardwork reflected in my salary. though that’s the only bright spot of the day as i woke up feeling really shitty about myself. a stomachache made matters worse and i didn’t feel like eating. i regret having dragged myself into the office but had so much work that missing any time wasn’t feasible. just as i thought my evening was getting better, a phone call from sifu changed everything and i all i could do was lay in bed feeling majorly overwhelmed but no one there to receive