day 1824 – current status

icing and heating both my shoulder and elbow while maintaining movement is the story of the day. i really didn’t know what to do and what to think of it because i hadn’t done any tests, scans or rays. i refused to go to emergency even though dozens urged me to do so. i had no mood to do anything knowing sports is off limits right now. so i just stayed at home in the heat and sweated my sorrows away

day 1822 – cartwheel

throwing too many cartwheels and attempts of aerials nonstop can lead to severe injuries. i heard some kind of pop as i braced myself with an outstretched arm. i thought it had to be a dislocated shoulder or something had snapped in my elbow. i landed hard but i didn’t want to check what the problem could be because maybe i’m not ready to find out. as stubborn and stupid as i was, i continued practicing but knowing in the back of my mind it could be a major issue that needs attention

day 1573 – unravel

not the typical day i thought it would be at work. i thought i would go about my own business and keep my composure just as i’ve always done, but i unraveled in a hurry. i refused to bring my personal life to work and need not to explain the battles i fight. i was in pure frustration to hear people who have no idea what i’m going through make ignorant assumptions and go as far as using ‘abusing rights’. i never want to unload any of my problems on anyone cause i believed i’m tough enough to shoulder my own burden. clearly i haven’t said enough; hr and manager are asking to be let in on things i bottled up for much too long. they want to be my outlet and they want me to know i can let them in

day 1398 – getting sweaty 

normally i don’t sweat much, but the way my shirt was drenched sure made it look like i played hard tonight. my ribs are becoming more stable, but still have to play conservatively until chiro gives me the okay to play without limitations. my team played better than what the stat sheet showed; i had a decent night with nine kills and five catches despite trying to play cautiously. hard to believe a thunderstorm is expected to spur tomorrow when the weather was so nice out all of last week

day 1343 – atrophy 

woke up at the sound of my alarm clock thinking i could go to work but broken is what i am. unable to fall asleep with bad neck and shoulder pain. the resultant of slamming the brakes left me with a whiplash and nothing but pain and numbness on my right side. the range was nowhere near good after treatment, but at least i could lift my arm above my head. lots of ibuprofen until the pain of clunky movements and clicking of joints dissipates

day 1208 – tilted

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long day on the mats that spanned ten hours with a break that wasn’t even a break. it wasn’t even necessary when i was already past my point of hunger. the promotion test went well, but the impromptu meeting the grandmaster called was rather disconcerting because he wanted and expected us to shoulder more than what we’re currently taking on. i know some of his disappointment was directed at me because i made the wrong call at portland to pass on that seminar. well after digesting that discussion is realizing i need to feed my empty stomach