respect myself

image

there comes a time when i have to weigh in the goods and bads and determine what is best for me. i must stop serving others and stop doing things for the sake of doing things because life is not about what others want. i have a tendency of putting myself and my own well being in the backseat while always putting others first and making sure everyone else is content. part of the challenge of life is learning everyday, no matter who it may be and what stage of life you are at. lately, the advice crossed my mind to take the courage to step away from the things and commitments that no longer make me happy, that no longer gives me the satisfaction it once did. i feel like i am at a multi directional intersection where it’s time to make changes and decide what i want to hang onto, what i want to do, and what direction and aspect i want to take and improve upon. i would be the first to admit i take on a lot and not all are self chosen. my life would be a lot happier and a lot less grim once i determine what it is what drives my passion, and what commitments i need to leave behind. not saying that i will stop helping others, but first and foremost, i need to ensure that i have time for myself and am taken care of properly. i am urged to think more about myself and less of others; in other words listen to my beating of my own heart because my main purpose of existence is not serving the world. it may sound selfish, but i am simply trying to live and enjoy my life, just like how everyone else is

Advertisements

day 544 – fighting self

image

it’s one of those days where nothing happened but i just feel really hopeless and everything appears so grim. the feeling i get that i am fighting myself where it’s a no win situation no matter what perspective i look at it. knowing what i need to do but still can’t do it is the hardest thing i have to swallow. as hard as this process is, it’s something no one can help me with and i must do it for myself. i better work hard to figure it out because time isn’t stopping for me. this is time for a self reflection and a true test of how badly i want it

day 323 – a night i wish i never had

image

as if my day wasn’t as unflattering enough, it continues into the night. just as i thought i could go home and wait for the arrival of friday, things get even worse. my parents and i just can’t seem to see eye to eye recently and it’s making me very frustrated. i am dealing with way too much at the moment to correct what’s been said and done. the only two things i want to do is go to the gym and let out my steam and sit in darkness to get some time alone so i don’t explode on anyone else