day 1490 – many miles 

one thousand two hundred odd kilometres later, i have made another loop around portland. road trips are meant to be fun but don’t realize how tiring it can be until i get home. intake was upped significantly during the vacation days, i must once again put on eating restraints; maybe i don’t mind having eating disorder again. it’s good to be back home sleeping on my own bed even if it feels like a sauna

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day 1478 – buckle down

it’s inexcusable that so many times i lose my self discipline and stray off from what i need to be doing. there’s been a lot of pressure from different sources of life and i’m struggling trying to stand my ground. i didn’t sign up for this, maybe i was meant to be alone in the dark, forever. i’m so stressed out; it’s been disappointing the stress has so much impact on my willpower and the lack of it. there is no excuse to not have a better habit and stick with what i want