day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

Advertisements

day 943 – multiple misfortunes

image

it was a rough night where one misfortune led to the next. began the night already feeling under the weather with a heavy headache but didn’t let that stop me from training and dodgeball. only later did i notice my wrist was bruised from smacking into the barbell racks. at dodgeball, i punched myself in the jaw while pulling my compression sleeve up. my mouth was bleeding, i’m basically icing everything since my jaw is swollen and my neck has a whiplash. it has been that kind of night, i’ll call it an early day

day 749 – lower than low

image

having one of those low moments and needing a pick me up kinda day. i think i have developed ptsd and feeling as low as i have ever been. rarely am i able to admit fear but i have no other explanation except exactly that. i haven’t got a solution as to how to fix or address the problem. all i know is it is way past normal bedtime hours but i am lying in bed unable to fall asleep because i am in thoroughly disappointment, it bothers me more than anything

resolution series: [twentythree] progress

image

no one is perfect, but everyone is working towards being the best they can be. twelve years ago, when i first stepped foot in my¬†physiotherapist’s clinic, i had no idea it would be such a long journey full of changes and learning curves. from a girl who couldn’t do a single exercise given to me no matter how basic. from a girl who wouldn’t put any effort into trying to do the exercises no matter what was assigned. to a girl who can now do all that plus weights and equipment thrown at me for different variations and increased difficulty. at that time, i bet my kinesiologists were very frustrated with me and wondered what was wrong with this girl because i didn’t put any effort in trying to complete any exercises they asked of me. through the years, they have opened my eyes to a whole new world, making me understand why i had to do what i was told. slowly i began to listen and understand how my body works and what i need to do for it. taekwondo didn’t start off easy for me, i went through some rough patches and stretches were i wasn’t feeling it. i wasn’t trying hard, i let things slip under the rug but gladly someone pulled me aside to let me know that half-assing wasn’t acceptable. he woke me up by telling me i shouldn’t settle for anything less for my best and never play down to my classmates’ level. if it weren’t for that lecture, i was probably ready to call it quits and would never have made it this far. i can safely say that there are many things that didn’t start off well but turned out well because someone out there decided to take it upon themselves to make me understand the importance of putting in the work and effort. ever since then, i have taken big strides in the right direction and to make the necessary progress