due time

from the beginning of the calendar year, i have taken stride after strides in terms of personal growth. as per usual, i set some goals for myself, some more bold than normal. what stands out is how my work performance has changed and how much my role in the company has evolved. i’m grateful to be one of the five that my manager has identified to take on the emerging leaders coaching program. my manager has offloaded a lot of things onto my plate; it’s stressful but i’m proving i can handle all that. each time i prove myself capable, i gain more trust. i welcome all the new and bigger responsibilities because that’s the direction i want to move towards. while majority has been moving in the positive, there are some that’s lagging behind. some things aren’t coming by as easily as i had drawn out, and that’s consumed a bit of frustration over the last little while. i haven’t been seeing the results i thought i would have, but i am to be blamed for i haven’t put enough effort into that aspect. i do feel my discipline has slipped so i’ll need to tighten up in that regard. i’ve done some self evaluation and i’m going to keep going because i’m a believer that it’s only a matter of time before i start achieving. i may appear to have it all down pat in other’s eyes, but to me, i set the bar high for myself and i’m far from where i want to be. being my harshest critic is who i usually am and that only means i have nowhere to go but up

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day 1322 – transformation 

this is not a throwback thursday, but a random photo sifu sent me today and i thought it was funny but fitting. to a raw competitor of six years ago, when i also sparred at bc champ. i can’t keep track of how many competitions i have been to since then; it’s probably a good sign when i don’t. i miss the good old days when i had coaches to turn to, but now i, myself, have taken on that role and can only rely. on myself. still trying to grow into someone i could rely on. it’s a special day for lomo, but no time to celebrate

day 1208 – tilted

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long day on the mats that spanned ten hours with a break that wasn’t even a break. it wasn’t even necessary when i was already past my point of hunger. the promotion test went well, but the impromptu meeting the grandmaster called was rather disconcerting because he wanted and expected us to shoulder more than what we’re currently taking on. i know some of his disappointment was directed at me because i made the wrong call at portland to pass on that seminar. well after digesting that discussion is realizing i need to feed my empty stomach