day 1843 – back on field

my shoulder still feel restricted and painful in outstretched positions, but back in my cleats and on the grass field playing softball for the first time in four weeks. i have to protect my shoulder by limiting the amount of movement it can do. realizing that’s quite difficult when i have to snatch all of throws that come my way to first base. i’m not going to lie it hurts when playing, and i’m sure that expected on my first games back

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day 1504 – nothing extra

one of the rare days i’m headed straight home from work because my hip and knee started causing havoc. i tried to alleviate the inflammation by icing, flossing, rolling, but nothing seemed to be the solution. i was optimistic it would get better evening so i should be good to go to the gym, but wasn’t the case. it got so bad that even with a knee brace on, all i really could do was sit in front of my desk and do some catch up paperwork

day 1385 – elbows


second week into my rehab program with the chiropractor and it brought some good news. although i still am off limits when it comes to the gym, second week is noticeably better than the first. i no longer wake up feeling like a train hit me.  my chiropractor likes that my back progressing at his pace, but now has to check whether my elbow is fractured. after bending it and twisting it, i’m leaning towards no fracture

struggle is real

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i won’t lie, i am defeated and deflated. ever since coming back from nationals earlier this week, i have yet to get a good night’s sleep or get much sleep at all. my mind is constantly thinking; thinking nonstop, even when i am tired because i cannot fall asleep because it hurts me so. feeling depressed and disappointed not because of my performance or that i didn’t have a podium finish. it’s seeing the national battlefield and noticing my competition continues to get better year after year for they have proper coaching to lead them up. i want to stay with the pack and give myself a good chance, but i am beginning to think doing it alone is next to impossible. there’s a lot of skepticism about how my road ahead looks like and what i should be doing when it doesn’t look like it’s going to take me to the destination of my choice. struggling mightily to figure out what i need to do in order to give myself the best possible chance for success. for the time being, i see no possible room for advancement if i continue to train here, simply because there is no adequate resources in this area. that’s what happens when we are leading the pack in the province but there’s no support from the school up top. for as long as i stay here, every step of the way will be a struggle. i need to figure out something to draw out and realize my fullest potential and do what’s best for me