day 1250 – diffident

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it was new years day and i just wanted to be home so i could be antisocial. being rattled and feeling unworthy in so many ways. my disappointment and discomfort loomed over, i didn’t even make it into the gym. instead, i rang in the new year with all sorts of organizational work and kept myself as busy as possible. i worked like a robot and had a productive day, but i didn’t feel much satisfaction. i spent the night spilling my thoughts on the keyboard to erase today and start again tomorrow

30 share it [thirteen]

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back in town counting down the final hours of our brief vacation, but first a stop at our old faithful for some classic noodles. it was a good time off and somewhat rejuvenating, only much too short. i’ll spend the remaining hours getting ready and unclog my mind because in a few hour i’ll get back to reality and working my butt off; there’s some things i want to reset and restart

day 1205 – project time

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drop the idea of searching for my usb. instead of keeping my hopes up that it will one day turn up, i’m restarting my project because that’s a better use of my time. in the past i might stay upset and dwell on it, but i’m better than that now. what’s done cannot be undone, what’s past is past so just do what i need to do to get the job done. i have already proven to be more efficient the second time around; with one afternoon, the model has of my most basic elements. nerding it out today so i’ll be at the same stage soon enough. not staying up tonight since i barely got any sleep last night with an ailing hip and neck

day 1094 – recondition

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getting up is what happens after falling down. restarting today is the best choice because focusing on my journey and devoting more time on myself is vital to a healthier and happier me. going into the gym and lifting usually makes my day better. today was no different as i surprisingly upped my deadlift numbers. i learned that i can’t do everything alone; sometimes opening up and turning to others helps me better manage my stress. my journey is not going to be easy, but i look forward to improving and picking up a few new things every step of the way

rebuild in motion

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i took a tumble recently, literally and figuratively, and really hit rock bottom but that doesn’t mean i am allowed to stay down forever. thought long and hard and now it’s time to take action and do it for myself. sometimes all we need is a fresh start to revive and the best way to restart is to begin with a blank piece of paper. i took it upon myself that i would wipe off all the unnecessary and negative influences and only focus on the positives that would get me to where i want to go. clear my mind of clutter, always remember to stay humble and accept criticism as more reason to work harder and find my strong. as far as i am concerned, there only one thing standing between me and my goal, and that’s will. willing myself to be accepting to change, to be confident, to be disciplined and to be happy with who i am. there’s no other time to start but now and i don’t want another opportunity to slip away, because it’s now or never. it’s time to train harder for the things i want to achieve, eat smarter to give myself a boost and make the right choices to live better and healthier for my mind and body. the key is to be disiciplined and stay that way, and only then will i feel proud to be who i am. expectations are meant to be met, not lowered. it’s never easy, but i am about to take my first step