sedinery era


i’m utmost shocked the sedin twins have announced retirement today. when the news first appeared on my news feed, my heart sank and i was crying inside. how i wished it was fake news, how i wished it was still april fools. i remember watching the draft pick in 1999, when two baby-faced boys stepped on the stage after brian burke announced his second and third picks consecutively. they took a lot of criticism over the years, but for the longest time they carried the team on their backs. it was evident to see their growth in nhl, as i watched them turn from boys to men. through the eighteen years of sedinery, they invented a brand of telepathic hockey never seen before, and they have the hart, art ross, king clancy and ted lindsay to show for. despite not having won a stanley cup in their nhl days, they had an amazing career in vancouver. the fact they stayed a canuck their whole career says a lot with totals like over two thousand six hundred games played and over two thousand one hundred points. regardless, cup or no cup, they were remarkable players that displayed class and leadership on and off the ice. so often i hear opposing players have insurmountable respect for them, even those on rival teams. i wish they didn’t make this announcement so i can continue to watch them play, but it felt right for them and their families. i’m going to miss their cycles, slap passes, between the legs tip passes, playoff heroics, and most importantly i’m going to miss seeing number twenty-two and thirty-three on the ice. the fact both of them attaining their one thousandth point this season is a very fitting way to end a hockey career. they’ll go down as one of the best twins to have ever played the game. i hope one day they will be inducted into the hockey hall of fame

day 1624 – matters matter

managing people requires understanding behavior and tapping into a person’s mind. in other words, it requires the science of psychology. and that’s exactly what i’m dealing with at work. i have new found respect for my manager as i finally felt what he goes through on a daily basis. after dealing with some, i sat down with him and he helped me put everything back into perspective. truth is stepping into a managing role means i can no longer shy away from dealing with people friction. i may not be used to it yet, but it’s a privilege to be growing professionally. finishing up eleven hours at the office before another two at taekwondo is going above and beyond; but always want more than i can physically give

day 1452 – downfall

someone said when you’re at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up – i don’t think so. in one of my worst and weakest state yet, i still find ways to fall further. i am truly disappointed and disheartened to the point where my heart turned stone cold as tears rolled down. i sense that i’m nearing the brink and any disloyalty would cause more than a rumble because my trust is not infinite nor free. it will hurt but i know that if boundary is crossed, i will not hold on

diminishing return

i take pride in what i’m capable of and the steps towards progression. i get that not everyone will appreciate accomplishments the same way. i’ve been on the receiving end of far too many discrediting comments that has no sentimental value. it would be nice to pay respect for my abilities when due instead of always heaving knit picky deconstructive criticism. leave it behind if it’s all negativity with no good intent; just don’t expect any in return. i’ve been disappointed that communication has been sparse and lacking lately. understanding the busy schedule that we run, there’s no reason to have no contact or replies until well after the fact. i no longer want to force anything so i’ll respond when i’m asked, otherwise i’ll stay behind the scenes and mind my own business. it’s kind of taken some of the joy out, but at least i’m not talking to myself. these are the little things that show a lot. life is a two way street and i’m a true believer in what you give is what you get in return. my patience isn’t unlimited so i won’t continually give knowing there’s nothing in the other direction

day 1091 – stung

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sometimes people don’t know how hurtful their words can be. but nature, i don’t speak up for myself, but just because i don’t react or stand up for myself, doesn’t mean i agree with how it was played out. it just means i’ve already taken blows that people never noticed. i’m learning to take them as they come and move forward like it never hurt. today i took multiple blows – physically, mentally and emotionally. sometimes i fail in this regard to let others dictate because i care about their feelings more than mine

respect myself

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there comes a time when i have to weigh in the goods and bads and determine what is best for me. i must stop serving others and stop doing things for the sake of doing things because life is not about what others want. i have a tendency of putting myself and my own well being in the backseat while always putting others first and making sure everyone else is content. part of the challenge of life is learning everyday, no matter who it may be and what stage of life you are at. lately, the advice crossed my mind to take the courage to step away from the things and commitments that no longer make me happy, that no longer gives me the satisfaction it once did. i feel like i am at a multi directional intersection where it’s time to make changes and decide what i want to hang onto, what i want to do, and what direction and aspect i want to take and improve upon. i would be the first to admit i take on a lot and not all are self chosen. my life would be a lot happier and a lot less grim once i determine what it is what drives my passion, and what commitments i need to leave behind. not saying that i will stop helping others, but first and foremost, i need to ensure that i have time for myself and am taken care of properly. i am urged to think more about myself and less of others; in other words listen to my beating of my own heart because my main purpose of existence is not serving the world. it may sound selfish, but i am simply trying to live and enjoy my life, just like how everyone else is

day 756 – beat the rough

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late night gym time all to myself to digress because it has been a rough day. just needed some time alone to let me mind rest and let it all out and couldn’t think of a better place than this. i figured this is a better way of putting my excess and bottled up energy to use because earlier today i came ever so close to kicking someone in the face and had to use every possible reason to restrain myself from letting my limbs loose. if it did, she wouldn’t even know what hit her. i can’t believe how rude and irritating some people could be; she clearly crossed the line today and i take no exception