2019 year at a glance

the recap of the past 365 days could easily be all negative, but instead of going down the rabbit hole of saying everything that went wrong, i also want to recap on all the things that went right. sure, my ankle injury cost me nine months of the year to diagnosis, but it didn’t stop me from carrying out the things i can still do. weightlifting was a big plus this year for i joined apex and dove back into olympic lifting. i got pretty good progress despite the many physical road blocks; a seventeen kilo improvement and making the yellow plates for a personal best. in the mere two months i was introduced to clean and jerk techniques, i’m happy to be just shy of the blue plates. tricking has caused me the most grief. there were so many flips and tricks i wanted to land, but couldn’t mostly because my injuries didn’t allow me to do things i should be able to. i’ll have to accept the fact there’ll be some specific moves i’ll never be able to do again, forever. i had a serious debate inside telling me to quit because everyone has given up on me, even me. at one point i had a deadline in mind to land one of the three moves i’ve been working on. low and behold, i did not land one, but i’m urged to give it a little more time because i’m really close. taekwondo became really stressful having to train a new set of teaching staff. i never once thought i’d test for my fourth degree, especially not with the ankle i was on. sports aside, i also traveled to europe, met some new people, got rid of toxic ones, changed departments and tried new things. i had some very low moments throughout this year where i really wanted to give up, but i kept my head up as hard as it was. i told myself because i never have up, 2020 will be the year for me where everything will fall into place and it’s my year to shine

day 2328 – lifting norms

the first week i can weightlift freely more like a normal person would. i don’t feel bounded by the many external factors; not doing modified snatches not banned from cleans, not using straps and not wearing a splint. i also didn’t have a weight cap because coach allowed me to go as heavy as i feel comfortable. my body was ready and surprised me with strong lifts. i ended the session with a forty two kilo snatch and forty nine kilo clean and jerk. these numbers are very close to my max pre-injury. definitely the highs i haven’t felt for the past three months

day 2314 – tucking it

feeling gutsy and antsy with the flips and couldn’t hold myself down any longer. it’s hard to describe the feeling i had when i realize even after all that happened to me, i just did a back tuck by myself. sure, the technique is not as good as my prime days, but at least i can still do them unspotted. best of all, i didn’t experience any pain in my ankles. i think i still want to to train through my ankle woes, but train smart so i’m still able to condition it regardless if i go under the knife or not

day 2312 – level up box

when i tried to test my ankle with light box jumps two weeks ago, i had ample of problems jumping into an eighteen inch box. flash forward two weeks later, i’ve leveled up and can comfortably jump onto a twenty four inch. although it’s nowhere near the thirty nine i had back then, i’ll take this as a big step because anything forward is never granted given the situation i’m in. i can’t really tell if i’m doing rehab or preparing myself for prehab

day 2306 – finger fractured

checkininto burnaby hospital yet again. i’ve had far too many hospital and clinic visits in the past month. what i feared last night is confirmed by xrays. my middle finger needs to be splinted for a couple weeks. it’s been that kind of a month, not only does my foot not work properly, now my hand is also disabled. how can i not be disappointed one after the other, but i hope by staying positive, it can help with the recovery process

day 2290 – google toy

the first of five package to arrive is my newest google toy. during my recovery phase, i’ve got nothing better to do but to invest in online shopping. i’ve already missed my original targeted date in returning. the recovery progress is slowed and sometimes nonexistent. i’ve received four or five different diagnosis without a verdict. i can’t lie, but i’ve started to lose hope that even after resuming my activities, i will not do things nearly as good. part of me wonders if my ride is over and i’ll have to give up certain things that i really like

day 1743 – repose

i miss the gym, a lot, but i’m going to resist from going to the gym for at least two more days. i need the rest and my body needs to recover after such a crazy but fun-filled birthday week of festivities. when i step back into the gym, i want to be fresh and ready to begin my new program. let me relinquish the feeling of not being sore for forty more odd hours because once the grind starts, maybe i’ll only feel soreness. spent an evening catching up on my news feed and tvb drama