day 1558 – me menu

called everything off and put myself and only myself on today’s menu cause i need time alone to set my priorities straight. absolutely no work related tasks today – no work for the first time in sixteen days. i was going down the wrong path of cramming work in to avoid idle time which in turn has even more negative effect on my mental health. can’t say i’m not a workaholic but then realized i was more burnt out than ever. so first time sleeping in until eight, helped my parents moved furniture, went for a workout and cleaned my room. that is not to say i don’t see the relationship struggles, but we’ll both be working on it together. i do feel better thinking i’ve reset my priorities and reorganized my life for the upcoming week

day 1512 – accompaniment 

my precious sticking by my side morning and night. she’s there for hugs when i need it most and absorbs any burden i carry day in and day out; something i need more than ever before. accompanying me so to know that i’m not going through this phase alone. i get disappointed wondering where each person’s priorities are at. i’d go home frustrated and speechless, but at least i know i’m somebody’s top priority and i know that i’ll always have her even when everything ends. i’m beginning to feel i’m ready to pull the trigger and let go

day 1510 – disconnect 

there’s no change since. the fact that i still feel alone hasn’t changed. it makes me wonder what difference it makes being in a relationship. i still feel i am on my own. has it gotten too comfortable to the point where communication can be so sparse and the disconnect can be so big?? i don’t have a lot of needs and i don’t demand for much, maybe that’s why i get pushed aside and pushed down in priorities. i try to sweep it under the rug but i can’t help noticing my patience that something will turn around is declining. holding on might not be the thing to do anymore

day 1494 – priority list 

fitbit shows me i need to put myself higher on the priority list and sleep a little more. sadly the amount i worked this week doubled the amount of sleep i got. i never really got a break and the start of another work week is in just a few hours away. i’m not looking forward to next week working all seven days. i am not always guaranteed a weekend, but at least this week i still have sunday off as a small breather

day 1331 – all business 

although i don’t need this to feel like i belong, it doesn’t stop me from feeling more legitimacy. work has been really busy at the office this week; put more work in doing overtimes but the pile doesn’t seem to be getting less cause more work keeps coming in. time goes by so fast when everyone is pestering me because they seem to think their project needs to be prioritized first

eating habit

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i don’t know what exactly is going on, i just know that something is not right. i packed and planned what to eat daily, but i somehow accidentally on purpose refuse to eat. after a day’s work, a workout and a night of dodgeball, i find myself sitting at eight hundred. the outrageously low intake is slightly worrisome especially on a day like this when i have so much exertion. because i stack my schedule with back to back to backs, i don’t put eating as a priority. i get home not sure if i should eat or just sleep. i know for a fact my stomach is empty, but i tell myself that as long as i can fall sleep, it will solve the problem

day 1225 – delivery

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as a treat for finishing my semester, i am delivered a sushi dinner. i was majorly stressed and overworked leading up to this day, but i am relieved of my duties of and sharing my happiness together. i haven’t had time to even sit at my desk chir much so i am really looking forward to going back to some routines. on the top of my priorities is sleep and a long, long to do list to catch up with