day 1674 – over and done


it’s a pity it’s made official, but deep down i know it’s over for the better. the decision to leave at one of my most critical time was already a telling tale; but i learned and bared next to no expectation from then on. if i was able to survive that storm alone, i’d be able to get through anything. lots of things are about to change. it’s a time to reset myself and welcome the new challenges i’m about to take on. it’s a time to get back to understanding that my own priorities don’t need live in the shadows of everyone else’s

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day 1654 – warehouse sale

happily shopping for shoes to reward myself for a job well done. went shoe frenzy and tried on many to find the one that i couldn’t go wrong with. in the past i’ve neglected my own well-being and overlooked many of my desires because i was made to not feel important. i learn to grow, i learn to be stronger, and more importantly i learn to live to be treated the way it should be. over the next little while i will change up my priorities to be sure i put myself as one

day 1640 – sad truth

what a turn of events in the past forty eight hours; the hours i wish never happened. can’t say i’m not thoroughly disappointed, but can’t let one disappointment dictate how i live. no matter how i move forward with life, i’ll make sure what i choose puts me as a priority. sad but true that those i least expect to care for me cares more than those i thought would take care of me. it’s made quite clear with the choices made and the actions taken, or not taken. i found out where i stand – nowhere in comparison to the many activities. any day could be my last day; if today was, one thing i’d regret is settling even not having been treated properly

day 1558 – me menu

called everything off and put myself and only myself on today’s menu cause i need time alone to set my priorities straight. absolutely no work related tasks today – no work for the first time in sixteen days. i was going down the wrong path of cramming work in to avoid idle time which in turn has even more negative effect on my mental health. can’t say i’m not a workaholic but then realized i was more burnt out than ever. so first time sleeping in until eight, helped my parents moved furniture, went for a workout and cleaned my room. that is not to say i don’t see the relationship struggles, but we’ll both be working on it together. i do feel better thinking i’ve reset my priorities and reorganized my life for the upcoming week

day 1512 – accompaniment 

my precious sticking by my side morning and night. she’s there for hugs when i need it most and absorbs any burden i carry day in and day out; something i need more than ever before. accompanying me so to know that i’m not going through this phase alone. i get disappointed wondering where each person’s priorities are at. i’d go home frustrated and speechless, but at least i know i’m somebody’s top priority and i know that i’ll always have her even when everything ends. i’m beginning to feel i’m ready to pull the trigger and let go

day 1510 – disconnect 

there’s no change since. the fact that i still feel alone hasn’t changed. it makes me wonder what difference it makes being in a relationship. i still feel i am on my own. has it gotten too comfortable to the point where communication can be so sparse and the disconnect can be so big?? i don’t have a lot of needs and i don’t demand for much, maybe that’s why i get pushed aside and pushed down in priorities. i try to sweep it under the rug but i can’t help noticing my patience that something will turn around is declining. holding on might not be the thing to do anymore

day 1494 – priority list 

fitbit shows me i need to put myself higher on the priority list and sleep a little more. sadly the amount i worked this week doubled the amount of sleep i got. i never really got a break and the start of another work week is in just a few hours away. i’m not looking forward to next week working all seven days. i am not always guaranteed a weekend, but at least this week i still have sunday off as a small breather