day 2411 – discouragements

sometimes i may show nothing on the surface, but deep inside i’m just discouraged and hurt. i couldn’t contain myself when i got home at night because it’s hard to accept i still have yet to get my webster and flash despite all the time and energy spent on it since november. it’s hard to swallow that everyone is improving so much quicker and here i am still working on the same thing time after time, still being told to be patient when i can no longer be patient. sometimes i wonder why i’m still going in to work on it when nothing is going to change. i don’t want to be the hard worker that gets nothing done

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back at home with a hot shower and just chilling with the need to do some reflection. thanks to chiropractor on site for putting my two ribs back into place so i can play my games today. i wasn’t hallucinating nor exaggerating when i complained my back and neck was out but of course i can only say so much before i realize it’s pointless. i’ve decided on a few things so i don’t get unnecessarily hurt