day 2233 – flip talks

during the late night dinner with the crew, had a bit of a truth moment when the topic of competition came up. deep down i know i want to compete, but being removed from the competition field for quite some time is a big obstacle. i know for me to make a comeback, i put a lot of pressure on myself to only compete when i’m confident i can do well; i just want to ensure i’m at my best. but as of right now so many factors are standing in my way and instilling so many doubts. for one, my foot is a problem because it’s not letting me have my preferred techniques. i can’t work on my roundoff combos and i avoid kicking combos whenever possible

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day 1862 – knee dimple

while on the ground rolling, i can’t help but notice a dimpled spot in my knee. it’s a short work week, but i’ve been more fatigue waking up every morning as the week wears on. what i really need is a vacation or some personal time off away from work. i must be really burnt out from not taking a vacation all year long. continuing the grind no matter what part of the week it is

day 1841 – small gestures

i do a very thankless job where i’m always expected to do things right. it’s one that does all the work in the back end and allows others to shine. usually i don’t get called out unless something isn’t done perfectly or when something goes wrong. this is one of the rare times i do get noticed on a personal level. this card i received on my desk definitely put a smile on my face. the gift is a small gesture, but one that makes me believe i do my best to service others

day 1687 – book assignment 

feels like school all over again when a book was assigned for home reading. this is a suppose to be a highly recommended book by the boss who bought a few copies to circulate within the office. this is meant to be an educational piece so i’ll need to arrange for reading outside of the sixty hours i already spend working. i haven’t read books like this in years but always willing to allot some time out of my crazy schedule to make myself more successful and i’ll be doing so one page at a time 

day 1386 – on strike

taking things a little personal and realizing i need to do something about it. it bothers me enough to tear up a little. it’s one of those things when i don’t feel deserving and i’m stubborn enough to do it. i prefer not eating and i will feel that way until i can hit the gym again. i’ll get hangry at times, but eating is secondary to being good enough in my own terms – not to mention it conserves time and money. it’s a little easier to get around it when parents are out of town