2016 year at glance

a look back at the highlights and lowlights of the past 365 days captivated by my carl zeiss lens. a lot has happened and all these snapshots are like puzzle pieces that write my story. 2016 was a year soul searching, a year of adventure and a year of realization. life was pretty grim at times; but it’s how i overcame these hurdles that sets me apart from who i was before. i’ve worked hard and learned a lot about myself and the others around me. i learned that sometimes i need to be selfish because i didn’t love myself for who i was. i learned to carry my own weight. i finally broke out from a plateau and figured out some things; things are starting to click and showing signs of progression. i am excited for the turn of the calendar year because 2017 will be a year of building upon what i have achieved and want to achieve. i’m more than ready to make the necessary adaptations to become the best version of myself and i want my dearests to be there by my side

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林奕匡 – 一雙手

a song that’s been looping endlessly especially when i’m at loss of words. sometimes i think i have found what i’m looking for, i have what i want, and then those thoughts vanish. these thoughts leave me hanging and instills a lot of self doubt. lately i’m feeling a little upset at myself and i’m trying hard not to let that to spill over to others. this song resonates for me; it gives me a boost and a reason to continue even when i’m uncertain

day 935 – start again

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my elbow is still up to no good and my thumb is also banged up. setbacks are bound to occur every now and then so i decided not to hang my head and start again today. sometimes things happen for a reason and through all that i will persevere and come out stronger each time. despite much of the day spent at taekwondo, gym is gym and that never stops no matter what condition my body is in

stay the course

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it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

persist

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things in life that’s worth working for is rarely easy, but it’s these things that makes life interesting. it’s only human nature to give up when things get hard. it’s even easier for one to feel deflated and hopeless when life becomes more of a struggle. but just because things aren’t going our way now, doesn’t mean they will stay that way. it’s in your own control to turn things around one hundred eighty degrees and make it how you want it to be. starting something is never easy, but keeping up with it is even more difficult. the decision is made, i am about to take on a challenge that feels a little daunting with a lot of self doubts but i think once i persevere through that, i would come out a stronger and better person. eager to started because once i get my feet wet, there’s no turning back. it’s just another character building challenge with lots to prove and lots to gain. this will be an evaluation of how much i want it and how much i am willing to stick with it

sunrun: an episode of character building

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for the past four months, i have been avoiding and stressing out over the sun run because it feels like a neverending marathon to me. today, i can sit here confidently and say that it’s a mission of character building and realization, and it’s a mission accomplished. i went into the race not knowing what to expect but i knew i had something to prove to all those doubters out there. i think the reason my kinesiologist has been giving me such a hard time and always doubting me is so he could provoke that competitiveness out of me and prove him wrong. even though i made the time that people said i couldn’t, i can’t help but feel some disappointment of not making the time i was secretly aiming for. but when i have crossed the finish line at the end of the run, and i still feel amazing as if i just ran a 5km race, that’s when i know i really should have pushed myself harder and made a better time. all in all, it was a good run in the books and i got myself respectable result, much credit goes to my running partner for not giving up on me. but more importantly, through all this, it was an episode of realization about my character that only made me a better person. when i said i would do something and set a goal for myself, i have to keep at it and never quit until i see the finish line. i may have to take back my statement about running not being my thing, because i think i will continue to strive for better time next time, whenever it may be. this was all made possible because of all the doubters out there, my running partner and my kinesiologist who kept pushing me every step of the way and then keeping my body sane. my legs have never felt this good for the longest time and still feels good after the run, and that i am grateful for

day 359 – flashback

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looking at this photo of me back in the day makes me laugh. this was my first ever competition years ago and i have never looked back since and have gone on to many more. who knew this competition kickstarted my interest in competition and to this day still continue to compete whenever possible. seven years and counting, i have risen to and accepted many challenges along the way. been plagued with numerous undesirable injuries ranging in severity, but nothing stops me from doing what i care about. i have learned and gained so much, transformed from a girl who didn’t have the confidence to speak up in front of people to now having the confidence to step in the ring alone and perform in front of a large crowd. this is not to say its in my comfort zone because i do get nervous every time, but at least i am willing to take that step forward and do what needs to be done