day 1682 – gramercy 

i never questioned whether my heart is in the right place cause i know it myself. the holiday card and notes written says it all. this reminds me of why i continue to push through my hectic life to be teaching year after year. i don’t want to give up these kids i’ve trained, some for several months and some seven years. i forget what it’s like to be appreciated for what i do and what i do well. i thought it didn’t bug me, but it actually does and i’m told i should never tolerate or take it from anyone

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day 1616 – double yolk

mom cooked lots of food for dinner and bought mooncake for dessert to celebrate mid autumn festival with the family. it gets harder and harder to have a full family dinner because my schedule is just so packed. i’m glad they understand that i am working hard and grinding every single day. they know i’m hardworking trying to establish a better future but they’re always concerned i don’t eat. i’ll just make the most of the special dinners we get together. i guess i can allow myself to have meals and desserts this once in a while. i hate being called fat, but maybe i’ll just have to accept it’s the truth and that i’m getting fat

day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1536 – rollerblading 

woke up at six to watch federer win his ninth wimbledon title. thought i would do something spontaneous before my hockey game. somewhere at the bottom of my sports closet is my dusty blades my parents got me back when i was in my early years of highschool. wasn’t sure if they still fit, wasn’t sure if they required a tune up, wasn’t sure if i remember how to roller blade, but didn’t think twice before strapping them on

day 1507 – canucks blowout 

too bad i had to teach and couldn’t go but i sent my parents to canucks inventory blowout sale weekend. my family is avid hockey fans so they came back with a few goods and accessories. lots of game worn equipment and apparel available; i would think about them but too bad their sizes are always too big. i’ve always wanted to try playing in goal but don’t have the right sized equipment to do so

day 1487 – sriracha spaghetti

made our own recipe of sriracha tomato sauced spaghetti for dinner. i’ll be picking up my parents from the airport tonight so this is the last homecooking while we have the entire place to ourselves. i enjoyed the freedom and peace, but one my priority it to embrace their presence and build better rapport like the good old days. today also marks the six year anniversary of my first foot fracture. i can’t say i’ll ever be able to treat it like normal again; paranoia usually takes over

day 1445 – midjump

powering through easter sunday with some power cleaning. i had to stop my jumps as i heard something in my tailbone midway through a jump. i hope a combination of heat pad, ice pack and advil will alleviate some discomfort because that’s the last thing i need to take with me on vacation. i did a terrible thing to my parents and feel the guilty that i really owe it to my parents. i’ll make note to never let that happen again