day 2396 – cartwheel back

i was feeling a little lazy and slightly unwell ever since my abbreviated gym session in the morning. i’m really glad i still went to open gym because i came out with a very big reward. ever so grateful that the coach spent time helping me out with both my standing back tucks and my cartwheel back tucks. he who believed i could do it on the floor and urged me to do so by setting up progression stations. he’s the reason i landed my cartwheel back tuck on floor tonight. life is kind of crazy. the same move that tore my foot happened exactly a year ago today; i thought i had to quit for good. i’m beyond happy i came full circle and landed what i thought i could never ever accomplish ever again

day 2194 – hard surface unlocked

i’m very proud of this because i just did my first back tuck on hard surface and i went for it without the spot that was offered. i’ve overcome a lot; from fearing to do it myself to now finally taking it to hard ground. i’m sure my coaches are also proud of this, one wasn’t present but he who has been pushing me to get my back tuck variations. i’m gunning for the x-out and more variations after that. the bonus of being able to do flips in different environment is catching the sunset in the background

day 2170 – road less taken

the tears that rolled uncontrollably down my face was a direct reflection of how i felt inside. as much as i wanted to stop myself in front of people, i simply couldn’t stop the tears from coming down. so much stress has built up around work, taekwondo, people and health that my emotional and physical state are torn inside and outside. all my life i feel i’ve been cheated because i never had the privilege of having the health most people enjoy. still, i push through and train through all my injuries, overcoming one after another. this time is no different, but four months is too long to go through without having a proper diagnosis and method of treatment. no doubt i’m feeling frustrated from the hopelessness

day 1394 – speak easy

nationals in the back of my mind the whole day made me so restless. i never expected the decision to be easy to overcome, and i think i handled it the best i could. what made it more difficult was i had no one to speak my mind and made it less inviting when i’m constantly being criticized, teased or ignored. i feel like i’m taking this on alone and less willing to pour my heart out knowing i’m going to get insults. i don’t know how long i can take the punishment

day 918 – officially landed

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words cannot justify or describe how i am feeling right now. today is a good day; no, today is a great day full of surprises and accomplishments i have yet to soak in. i went to the gym for some cardio even though i thought it was a terrible idea to go before tumbling. not knowing how long i would last, i was set on stopping when i felt tired. that was negligible because i went through the entire duration like never before. hours after that, i made my floor to floor goal a reality. i knew i have been close for a while and i knew i had all the pieces but each time i would be missing a piece or two. until today, i had all my pieces working and officially landed it. that to me, is the biggest hurdle i had to overcome and the first step to building much more

fight for it

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very, very late last night, i finally gathered the courage and came to a tough decision to pass up on this year’s us open. this may be a rare opportunity in my lifetime to partake in such a massive event of exceptional calibre. i never ever in my life imagined myself being granted this opportunity but maybe because of that, it instilled so much fear in me. it would have been a superb experience, but not one that i felt i was ready to take on alone. i didn’t feel like my physical capabilities nor my mental game was ready for this level of competition. i can’t deny i am very disappointed i choose to back out of these opens because it’s something i’ve been really looking forward to for months and months. sometimes i think i would hate myself for letting this chance slip away, but it’s a decision i made and one that i will be able to live with. i know that this decision was as tough on me as it was for those who devoted so much time and energy in me – with their heart and soul and giving me only positive encouragements. there’s several individuals i want to single out for they were always around to listen to all my rants, troubles and everything in between. but none more so than the hardass nazi who never stopped believing in me, who listened to my many insecurities and tried to put everything into perspective in order to will me to take the challenge. i can’t express my gratitude for all the support i have received along the way. i am sorry i couldn’t make this happen, i wished i could find the inner strength to carry through with this. i may seem down and out at the moment, but with time i will recuperate and bounce back stronger than before. i haven’t lost my passion for competing, it’s simply a little setback that i must overcome. moving forward, i will work extra hard to better prepare myself for nationals. it’s going to happen

welcoming 2016

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2015 was a good year in the grand scheme of things. through the past year, i have learned a lot about myself and have a better grasp of what i want to attain and where i want to go. i realized my true ambitious self of not wanting to remain at the same level time after time, year after year. there was definitely not as much action as i would like in terms of taekwondo competitions, but sometimes fate and timing has a lot to do with it. continuing to be involved in the dodgeball community not only in vancouver, but expanded my team to richmond. there’s no surprise i remain injury-proned; but the frequency as well as the ability to heal myself has gotten progressively better. i cannot express how blessed i am to have met so many supportive people in my life that always lends a hand or provides motivational words so i can stay on track even when times get tough

here’s to welcoming 2016 with open arms with set goals and big ambitions to take everything to the next level. let’s write the next 365 days and make it a year to remember.

  • stay as injury-free as possible
  • eat clean, sleep earlier, train regularly
  • take on big challenges even if i am scared, that’s the only way to get to the next level
  • be more confident and less self-doubting
  • love myself, my family and my friends just the way we are
  • learn a new sport
  • pick up snowboarding
  • learn to code, write my website
  • complete obstacle courses
  • travel the world

i am ready to take on all these challenges. find my strong. it’s now or never

day 791 – bottoms up

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fueling on my bcaa tonight like it’s the last thing i do today. i know very well that i had worked hard today and most definitely be sore tomorrow. just hope to minimize the degree of soreness and decrease the chances of being sore for too long cause i got a full week ahead of me. getting back to it after a prolonged period of time and definitely happy with today’s progress as things are coming along

day 752 – back when i could

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another one of those reflection fridays because whenever i sit there with some spare time, my mind starts wandering and flashing back to things i am better of not thinking about. things were a whole lot different back then and i was a whole lot more innocent and carefree. back when i could do it with no regrets. i am trying so hard to figure out a way to get over this hump, get my mind and body together and continue where i left off because i ain’t giving up and ain’t going to give up until i get this once and for all!!

resolution series: [ten] fitspo

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for kids, bumps and bruises, sprains and breaks heal quickly. but once the teens passes you by, you realize these problems persist longer than what you are used to. you can no longer be as carefree when attempting something because that innocence starts to leave your mind and childhood is inevitably leaving your body. that’s for normal people, but it’s an entirely different story for me. i started getting injured at a very early age and because sports is my passion, it makes it my weakness. my personality and lack of patience doesn’t allow me to rest long enough before going back out and playing again. without letting it heal properly like it should, i push it far too hard much too soon. i have been fortunate i have had an awesome physio overlooking me for over the past dozen years cause without him, i either will not be walking today, or wouldn’t be involved in any of the sports. because of the team that supports me in the back end, i can continue to do the things i love. when i was younger, i never fully understood why they were forcing me to do all these training and boring rehab exercises, but i slowly come to realize what they put me through is only for my own good. ever since then, i told myself i would make that change by listening to them and letting them push me as hard as they see fit. it gives me the satisfication to look back at when i first started and notice how much better and stronger i have gotten over the years and the work and effort i pitched in are finally starting to pay off. the deal is simple, i do my maintenance work and take care of my body the right way, then i get to go out and do my thing. i need to continually get stronger in order to get better at what i do and be the best that i can be. taking care of my body is definitely top priority in the long run. and when i stray away from that, my wallpaper and backgrounds act as a reminder to always shut up and train