day 2185 – hydrocortisone

the mosquito bite from yesterday got so out of hand that i couldn’t concentrate on anything. nurse friend said i may have cellulitis and should see a doctor at emergency, but instead i rushed to walmart and settled for some topical cream with hydrocortisone. i even pulled out of hockey last minute because it was burning hot. i felt horrible for staying in on such short notice especially when it’s the start of playoffs for civil war

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day 1837 – work hours

what has my work hours become better be temporary. i’m on my work laptop saturday night hammering out some project work after my teaching shift. i pulled out the laptop thinking i’ll get some work done. what was intended to be a one hour thing soon became a four hour thing. i’m burnt out from the amount a work a week because over sixty five hours just isn’t normal nor healthy

day 839 – not right

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i had a great weekend, only up to the moment i realize i had disobeyed all that i said i would do. i am fighting myself and feeling torn inside because i walked in with a number in mind but went well beyond that limit, i don’t know how it got so out of hand. it’s only finally hitting me hard today, the wheels have really fallen off and i don’t even know where to begin to pick myself up. what a heart felt disappointment when i have regretfully misused the trust others had in me. i failed others and most importantly i have failed myself. need to learn that discipline is choosing between what i want now and what i want most. perhaps i must be stricter and harder on myself and start my climb from the bottom again. i guess i deserved to have both my pinkies sprained during practice