day 1154 – hold off

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i feel like i’ve lost control of what i can control. i can’t hide the disappointment that hit me when physio told me to stop and rest for a week. he rarely does that to me and usually lets me play within my limits, so when he does, i know it’s severe. that means skipping games, gym, trainings…does it also mean skip my competition?? how long i manage to stay away remains to be seen. overwhelming day with that news, school and more life questions

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day 987 – dozing

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the fever that i thought went away seems to come and go, and come back again. took some extra strength drowsy pills that put me right out and gave me a good night’s sleep, but i woke up feeling like i am taking on a cold as well. i don’t know how to get rid of this lingering illness. all my parents ever tell me is to see a doctor, but they never seem to understand that from the second a step in the clinic to actually seeing the medical doctor is a complete waste of my time. all i ever get from doctors is useless information i could have told myself

day 728 – summer’s day

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looking like a typical july summer’s day as i sit under the sun gazing out. this is the best time for tourists to come visit the west coast. glad to see the warm and sunny weather returning to vancity but i am not physically able to enjoy the outdoor activities. i am hoping and expecting to return to my regular activities soon and is eagerly awaiting the clearance to resume all that planned

day 482 – adjustment time

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my legs took a ton of beating and bruising lately including a bad knee collision a few days ago. instantly knew it was out but was still able to carry out my regular exercises the next little while without over compensating so i had hoped it wasn’t as bad as i initially thought. went in to check it out and my physio confirmed that my gut feeling was correct. getting both my knee cap popped back in place and wrist taken care of was painful as ever, but it had to be done. he gave me the hardest task possible and threatened i musnt make my knee cap out of place again. i will continue my long mission to search for ways to protect my knees keep them from shifting

day 392 – jailed

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how i wish i could be walking down this path on a nice evening like tonight. but was given instructions to stay out any activities for next few days. when physio says to rest, it must be severe because he knows how much moving around and continuing my activities means to me. needless to say, i will not be able to hit the tennis courts or the gym until the weekend or beyond

day 387 – dysfunctional

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my uncooperative legs have been preventing me from carrying out my regular routines. currently on the mend with my finger crossed whatever that’s bothering me is not too serious like the original diagnosis because i hate being benched and watching from the sideline. i hate it when it interferes with my routines and no one understands how i feel how hopeless and desperate i feel

day 300 – deja vu

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just as i thought my knee has turned the corner and fitted back in its groove, it pops back out of place. completely abused by my physio’s physical manipulation while he forcefully pushes it back into place. him at his best continually pushing my pain tolerance. restrictions order in effect that physical activity is not permitted and permission of activities must be granted. it’s also my 300th day post to date