day 1290 – sums it up 

this pretty much sums up how i’m feeling about myself and my life lately. i can’t seem to get my stuff together and time after after i disappoint myself. got to the lowest point in a quite some time and i am in disbelief when i found out. i definitely feel undeserving of some basic privileges. the long weekend comes timely because i can take this time to regroup and find something new. i better get it together in a hurry or else it might turn out to be self harming

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day 1287 – emotional eating

could barely keep my eyes open this morning but i still felt okay during the day. i had all the intention to go training tonight but everything kind of fell apart when evening hit. i went way off track i couldn’t get myself to go to training. instead, i turned for home where emotional eating happened. disappointment loomed over me and i feel so utterly disgusted at myself for being useless. i just want to pull a blanket over my head or better yet bury myself in a hole