day 1625 – office revolution 


made it into the office today and good to know that i was missed. it’s made official the main renderer has resigned, leaving me as the only renderer. my manager told me i am the front runner to step up into the role and be the next one. i’m extremely excited for the opportunity presented because it’s what i wanted. i’m scared that the bigger responsibilities may expand multi-fold and must learn the new programs with no support. it’s daunting just thinking about it, but it’s within my power to take, learn and grow into being something much bigger. afterall, my manager has the confidence in me and said i’ll go as far as i’m willing to

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day 1297 – where is it


not pleased that i just can’t find the determination i had when i was on top of my game. i’ve slipped far down and reality check startled me and no confidence took a big hit. i miss those days when i stayed focus on what i wanted. the hardest part is finding it and running with it. things will have to be different from here on because i can no longer tolerate my own  lapse

charlie puth – one call away

i can never seem to get tired of this song even on infinite loop in the background. i personally think it’s a very well written song with meaningful lyrics; maybe because i can relate to a lot of what he’s trying to say. sometimes i just want to be superman; my own superman. recently discovered this is one of my favourite stretching songs, it’s very soothing and calming

day 1101 – snatched

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pushing it hard at the gym this morning and not letting my cold get to me. after a long session, i came out looking like i was abused but it was all worth it because i was working on a lot and a lot of cleans. despite my throbbing headache, i am stoked since i had just done my first ever barbell snatch. although it is still very raw and still have a lot of mechanics to work on, it’s definitely a step in the right direction. i’ll stay persistent and keep working on it; it’s only a matter of time before it gets better and become second nature

day 1097 – get grinding

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getting my statutory holiday grind on bright and early, so early the gym is practically empty. checking in to the gym and checking my form for all techniques. keep an open mind to all critcism for everything; that’s the only way i’ll learn and the only way i’ll get better. it’s always important to stay focused and humble and see where the journey takes me. feeling good after a workout and ready to put in the work for a strong august to recreate my dreams and reestablish myself

day 1093 – dial back

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a day of climbing out of the dark and back into the light. the past forty eight hours had a lot more downs than ups, but i will spend much of the next hours, days, weeks and years making it infinitely better. i am strong enough to withstand the circumstances thrown at me. it is time to repair myself and look for new directions. i can always bank of having companions by my side to talk it over

rise and shine

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vacation is officially over. that means it’s time to get back on track and grind again. during the twelve day span that i was overseas, i felt so confined and struggled mightily with gym withdrawal. the days felt so unfulfilling without any real physical exertion. i would hate to live like this on a normal basis. i was dying inside but my parents didn’t understand why i was making a big fuss out of it because they simply didn’t understand what gym and sports meant to me. i, on the other hand, have no intention of explaining it to them. some days they would make random comments relating to my built in hopes to convince me to lessen my exertion. luckily venting to mo has eased much of my frustration; i know he’s well aware of where i’m coming from. back home, training and being active is a major part of my life. i’ve been consistently training and making progress on many levels and i felt good about them. but a dozen days without gym access has set me back really far and now i’m uncertain what i’m capable of. i am actually afraid to find out. i would feel so useless if i find out i’m back at square one. i don’t want to lose what i have worked hard for. i told myself that once this vacation is over, everything will go back to normal – no, it’s going to be even better. i told myself i would rep out all my sets; i wouldn’t be lazy, complain or make excuses. somehow, i need to keep myself accountable and get myself back on track if i stray. i am back in town today, which means i’ll be hitting the gym doing what i need to be doing. the destination is pretty clear, my mind just needs to work with me. it’ll be a long road back, but i must refocus and work harder to negate that deficit. june is a month of many changes and challenges; one that i am going to make things happen. it will be worth it in the end