day 2043 – dodgeball rolling

first week of the dodgeball season for me and not a very good start at all. i landed on the ball and immediately knew that shit just happened. now i have no good ankle to stand or walk on. the first thought that went through my head was how much pain i was in, but rather how i could get back cause i have flips to do and hockey games to play. to look at it postuvely, it’s still early in the dodgeball season so i’ll be able to get back

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day 1553 – splint change 

third time into hand clinic and fourth set of xrays taken within twenty four days. new specialist has taken over my case and i’m still confused with how i’ll be treated. he wasted no time; i get a new splint made right away and hand therapy begins. she assigned four exercises which i had plenty of trouble doing on my first set. i’m instructed these were to be done minimum five times a day. by the end of the day i made much improvement with two of them, but still struggling with the other two. these are very basic motor skills that i’ve lost made me feel useless. i can only hope that if i keep at it, it will get better day by day

30 share it [twenty six]

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i’m disappointed there’s so little belief in me and although it doesn’t take anything away from my ability, it bugs me more than i show it. it sucks to be looked upon with double standards because some just can’t accept the fact that girls can have the same abilities. i guess it’s all about their egos. i can’t control what others choose to believe, but i can control what i can do. i’ll still keep pushing forward like always

 

day 1154 – hold off

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i feel like i’ve lost control of what i can control. i can’t hide the disappointment that hit me when physio told me to stop and rest for a week. he rarely does that to me and usually lets me play within my limits, so when he does, i know it’s severe. that means skipping games, gym, trainings…does it also mean skip my competition?? how long i manage to stay away remains to be seen. overwhelming day with that news, school and more life questions

day 815 – chances slipping

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the registration deadline is closing in and my chances of being able to compete is diminishing. it’s looking a lot like i have to give up my hope of competing in pan am club cause i still am not cleared to kick. i was really looking forward to going to this one but wouldn’t sacrifice quality just so i can go. a competition would lose its meaning if i went in under trained and not able to uphold my own standard. i know very well that i would feel even worse if i went and did subpar because i am not there to participate but to contend. i guess i will turn my attention to focus on rehab and prepare for what’s next in store for me