day 1336 – lounge seats

my enjoyment the one hundred level lounge seats stopped short of the end of third period when i was startled by some news. finishing the game was the least of my worries as i rushed home to find out what’s been happening all day. i’m really concerned and i’m scared, but i mustn’t show it because my mom needs me to be strong at a time like this. i can’t show any signs of weakness because i need to be there for her to hold the ship together 

day 1119 – demeanour

img-20161224-wa0004.jpgsometimes when you get comfortable seeing something you forget to appreciate the little things that surround you. taking things for granted happens; it happens with things, it happens with people. i guess i can’t be too bothered because a good day at the gym cancels it out and also makes up for my last subpar performance. i am happy i made new ground today and i know there’s more to come. once again, it reminds me pr’s are meant to be broken, limits are meant to be surpassed and goals are meant to be reached

day 1101 – snatched

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pushing it hard at the gym this morning and not letting my cold get to me. after a long session, i came out looking like i was abused but it was all worth it because i was working on a lot and a lot of cleans. despite my throbbing headache, i am stoked since i had just done my first ever barbell snatch. although it is still very raw and still have a lot of mechanics to work on, it’s definitely a step in the right direction. i’ll stay persistent and keep working on it; it’s only a matter of time before it gets better and become second nature

day 1094 – recondition

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getting up is what happens after falling down. restarting today is the best choice because focusing on my journey and devoting more time on myself is vital to a healthier and happier me. going into the gym and lifting usually makes my day better. today was no different as i surprisingly upped my deadlift numbers. i learned that i can’t do everything alone; sometimes opening up and turning to others helps me better manage my stress. my journey is not going to be easy, but i look forward to improving and picking up a few new things every step of the way

day 1086 – bruce quote

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thinking of something to get myself going again. this man says some very powerful things that i would like to live by day in day out. in bruce lee’s wise words, always be yourself, express yourself and have faith in yourself. it’s a tough stretch, but we have each other’s back to fight through all battles. sometimes a quiet and simple evening brings out the quality of our time and lightens up the mood. just remember tough times don’t last, tough people do

day 1066 – annual award

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another busy season of taekwondo comes to an end with the passing of canada cup. through this season, i have found much success further developing my own competition game as well as training my students. it hasn’t been easy at all, there has been lots of struggles and self doubts along the way, but i got the job done at the end of the day. here’s to another grand champion trophy to add to my collection. i don’t know how many more competitions i have in me; i am hoping won’t end just yet

living through my falls

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it’s unbelievable how fast things could change and how far things could fall. outside my shell, it’s hard to tell i have lived through two very rough weeks. but beneath my shell, my life felt very close to the “underworld”, filled with mayhem that’s got me feeling rocking bottom. the descend started off with a week long fever, cough then cold. i couldn’t muster much activity during this time; i was bed ridden and under endless medication majority of the time. my body felt weak as ever; all the ground i’ve gained has been lost, and deep down i felt even worse about myself because i couldn’t do anything to change it. luckily, i had a personal nurse that took care of me and almost felt more concerned about my health than i ever was. just as i was recovering from sickness, the nightmare hit me hard – literally. ever since being struck at dodgeball playoffs, i felt like i was living in a really bad dream. having a concussion is scary because everything felt out of whack. my head and neck were throbbing, my movements were slowed, my speech and thoughts were disoriented, my appetite was affected – the bottom line is, i wasn’t able to function like my normal self. what made it difficult was i couldn’t tell people what i was going through nor could i disclose the severity fearing they will not let me continue with my upcoming events which means so much to me. i’m feeling slightly better with each passing day and a week after the incident, i can safely say recovery seems like it’s on course. thankful mo has been by my side during this rough span. just having his presence makes things better and gives me the inspiration to think on the bright side even when times get tough. i’ve fallen very far down and lost a lot of the gains i’ve been working hard at, but now is really not the time to hang my head. i’m not okay with myself and my performance in it’s current stage, so i’m going to make it right. i must get it together and make up that ground in a hurry. it won’t be easy, but it will be done

day 971 – come along

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the last of our lazy days of easter long weekend. i say lazy, but i actually accomplished a lot today with training at the dojo, training at the gym, an exec planning meeting and then more extended training at the gym. buckets of sweat from all that training but no complaints from me. i am completely exhausted from the workload and heavy restrictions, but i will do what i said i would and give it my everything. at the end of the day, no matter how tired, i find myself wanting to be together

方大同 – 不容易

he’s one talented artist with a great voice and a list of good songs, but this is one of my favourite from his playlist. it really reinforces and reminds us that what we love and treasure in life is definitely worth striving. nothing in life comes easy, so work your butt off for everything you love and never let go. there’s no price tag for the things you believe in, even when others disagree

self satisfaction

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this post took far too long to write even though i knew exactly what i was thinking deep down. i’ve been reluctant partially because i didn’t know how to word it so not to come on too strong. i had a strong sense that the tide has been swaying and that certain things started to change as of late. i was beyond stressed and frustrated but sometimes i can’t differentiate whether the frustration was directed at myself or others. i’ve always been a big believer that if i believe in what i am doing, don’t let anything stop me. i have some big dreams and goals to reach and if i want to give myself the best chance, now is really the time to gear down to make it happen. some are baffled why i make the many sacrifices i do just to reach a dream that may seemingly be meaningless to them. of course i don’t expect many to agree with all the commitment and sacrifices, and some may never ever understand. only a selected few will understand what i am going through and support what i am aiming for. one being those with bottomless aspirations and endless beliefs. the other being those who have been to big stages alike. life of a competitive athlete is not easy as it requires many forms of sacrifices, determination and commitment. because of what is at stake, we must prioritize properly, be it skipping out on events, running on tight schedules, operating with little rest, or passing up on booze. i am spread very thin with a packed schedule, but believe me i’m trying my best to balance it all. my road isn’t a smooth walk in the park by all means because i have chosen a road less taken. i’d be most gratified to have my trusted peers in my journey as long as its free of judgement and negativity. in the meantime, i will keep pushing forward as long as i know what i am working towards, what it means to me and ultimately what makes me happy