day 2182 – bobby wing

hit up the ironwood new wings after flightclub because it’s wednesday wings night. i had a pound of wings and agreed to share an order of the exclusive bobby wings. i really enjoyed my east meets west wings, but can’t say the same for the bobby wings. when i signed the waiver i was determined to finish one and aimed for two. at first bite, my lips burned, tongue numbed and eyes watered. even then i took a third bite which may have been a mistake. i don’t regret having taken on this offer since it’s something i wanted to see for myself

day 2166 – eating discipline

second week into the thirteen week self challenge and i’m doing a much better job than the first week. i turned down the cupcake because i knew i would have serious regrets if i had consumed that. it’s hard road ahead and lots of things to be enticed by, but i’m no stranger to this type of challenge. i must stay on track and stay disciplined for what i really want; not for some short-lived satisfaction

day 2017 – blister pains

if i’m going to enjoy the gains of olympic lifting, i’ll also have to endure the pains of it. olympic lifting is fulfilling and rewarding in many ways, but one of the biggest lifters problem is calluses and blisters. as much as i try to use hook grip, it’s just not a position my once broken thumb can ever go into again let alone handle the load. as i finished my snatching session, my hands are in blistering pain because there’s one on each hand. until it dies down, i’ll bear it with no pain no gain in mind

day 2011 – wall flip

my flips were feeling strong in class and post class training. my back tucks have been coming back to me and lately i’ve been able to get solid landings on blue mat by myself. i was curious about the wall flips so i asked to learn it to which one of the coach graciously took me through the steps. they were really cool once i started going through the whole motion with a spot. although in the end i hurt my knee on one of the awkward landing, i don’t regret having asked to learn it. since i didn’t know the extent of my injury, i did have to pull out of my hockey game later that night

day 1695 – four eyed

a peek way back to the glasses photos – do i miss those days? the quick and short answer is no. the convenience of not having to looking for my glasses pack my contact is unreal. though i still need to go for periodic checkups, i’d say i’m doing quite well having regained most of my vision since going under the laser. proves that my decision to pay up the dough and go through the week long painful inconvenience is worth the benefits in the long run

day 1059 – surfing the wave

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i’ve always been reminded to never take life for granted and live life to its fullest with no regrets. flashback to last year when i was one with the wave and riding on water for the very first time. i crossed off one thing from my bucketlist that day; i wonder what it would be this summer. summer season is upon us once again and if we’re not careful, it will flash by before we know it

my many doubts

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i have been troubled and drowning in my own thoughts which has me staying up late and thinking a lot lately. over the years, taekwondo has given me a lot to look forward to and a lot to be proud of, but that’s not to say it hasn’t given all sorts of pressure and stress. one could say competition has given me a sense of belonging, because it’s also where i found out that i too, could succeed. it’s taken my next to zero confidence and upping that to a level of being confident enough to step out on the mats alone and get things done. somehow, i feel competing is not what it used to be for me. i always felt the pressure leading up to each competition, but never have i felt it so intensely that i’ve become super stressed out and almost numb. is it a sign that i’m not doing it as a passion? is there such thing as a “martial arts block” like a “writer’s block”? sometimes i can’t differentiate if i am fulfilling my job to compete just because i’ve been doing so all along. i’m unsure whether it’s expected of me, or if it’s a self chosen decision. what makes this one different than the ones in the past that gives me so much more undue stress? a lot to be honest. first of all, i’m no longer under the coaches i’m used to, but directly under the watchful eyes of the grandmaster. second, my parents play a big factor. they seemingly have no expectations for my competition game because they have doubted me from the first day i took on taekwondo, but somehow still appears to have so much expectation. they never expected me to get anywhere close to blackbelt and even sought every opportunity¬†to pry me away from the sport. the results at nationals really isn’t my focal point nor the reason i go to nationals. it wasn’t in the past, and this year’s isn’t any different. competing at such a high level is definitely a privilege i don’t take lightly. it’s an eye opener that’s all about the experience and through that i’ve gained so much more. i hope the grandmaster and others see it in the same light, but sometimes i am afraid of those who put a lot more weight in results and standings. i hate not living up to expectations and i hate letting people down; maybe i’ve done it way too much in the past. luckily, i am still able to find bright spots of supportive casts to put everything into perspective and make sure i keep going strong. they let me know that as long as i do everything within my powers and give it everything i got, i should have no regrets. so bottom line is – stop self doubting and stop second guessing, just get my shit together, work my ass off and let the rest play itself out