day 2145 – department change

going to work on monday morning with mixed emotions because the switch in position and department is considered a promotion. the fact i’m removed from the department i’ve grown with leaves a sour feeling. also having work with someone i need time and space from is rather uncomfortable. still, work must go on and i’ll be professional and keep the interaction at a business level. i find the soreness isn’t leaving me at all, making it difficult to move around

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day 2082 – secret backtuck

it was a gruesome four hour long colour belt test that saw one hundred and fifteen students. my lungs were exhausted after calling out instructions nonstop, but i’m committed to doing a back tuck every time i step in the dojo. i tried to do it while the grandmaster was out of sight lines but because my mental setup isn’t instant, he walked back into the frame in time to see it take place. he reacted in a way i didn’t expect – very surprised and encouraging. i expected warnings from him to avoid high risk moves, but instead he showed interest and excitement in my ability to do acrobatics and even asked to send him the video. i wasn’t happy with that particular flip because i could only muster a tired flip, but the footage is now on his facebook page

day 2074 – killarney class

my weekly saturday ritual consists of teaching at killarney and the new civil war season that just started up again. it was crazy hectic today,¬† for it was the first class of the term, preparing students for belt test while teaching with two less instructors. it’s true my work week doesn’t really end of friday, and sometimes doesn’t even end of sunday. i enjoy teaching, but weeks like this i do need a break in between before another work week begins

day 1822 – cartwheel

throwing too many cartwheels and attempts of aerials nonstop can lead to severe injuries. i heard some kind of pop as i braced myself with an outstretched arm. i thought it had to be a dislocated shoulder or something had snapped in my elbow. i landed hard but i didn’t want to check what the problem could be because maybe i’m not ready to find out. as stubborn and stupid as i was, i continued practicing but knowing in the back of my mind it could be a major issue that needs attention

day 1507 – working slave


this fifty nine hour work week makes me i more like a working slave. i was pressured into taking an extra teaching shift that i was reluctant to take. i didn’t want to work a thirteen hour breakless shift on a friday but that’s what it came to be. sifu made me very uncomfortable with all the things he’s forcing upon me; he expects me to take the roles of school poomsae coach and the team bc poomsae coach which comes with added certifications i must first complete. thinking of the increased regular training and time commitment stresses me out, as if i don’t have enough on my plate already

day 1438 Р renovation complete 

it’s been a physically taxing day even compared to my typical saturday. put my muscles to good use early morning to move the fridge and the wall cabinets. a hectic five hour taekwondo shift of nonstop teaching without a water or washroom break. i felt depleted for the first hockey game and couldn’t get my mind nor my legs in the game. just as i thought i had no more gas in the tank for round two, i pulled through and managed to play some proper hockey. when i got off the ice, i then realized so many body parts are hurting

day 1425 – waterworks

when was the last time i smiled from the heart?? please take me back in time and erase the nightmare i’ve been trapped in. there’s just no smiling today; not even the fakest. the only thing i did was cry as it continuously and uncontrollably roll down. my eyes were like waterfall no matter how hard i tried not to think. my eyes are tired, my mind is tired and so is my heart. the uncertainties of what i should do is far from over. i can’t imagine going to work tomorrow and anything acting like myself